Episode 1152 - Meagan MacIntire
In this episode Jeremy chats with Meagan MacIntire about her journey into martial arts, balancing parenting with training, and how starting up a patterns club really helped.
Meagan MacIntire - Episode 1152
SUMMARY
In this engaging conversation, Meagan MacIntyre shares her journey back to martial arts after a significant break. Starting at age 11, she initially left martial arts for cheerleading but returned after 16 years when her daughter attended a taekwondo birthday party. The discussion delves into the challenges of balancing martial arts training with parenting, the importance of community, and the complexities of making decisions that affect both personal growth and family dynamics. Meagan reflects on her physical challenges due to past surgeries and the emotional journey of reconnecting with her passion for martial arts while supporting her children's involvement. She discusses the emotional challenges of feeling like an imposter despite her achievements and how teaching has helped her regain confidence. Meagan also reflects on the balance between encouraging her children in martial arts while allowing them autonomy, and the importance of community in her journey through the creation of Patterns Club, where she helps others improve their skills.
TAKEAWAYS
Meagan started martial arts at 11 due to homeschooling requirements.
She took a break from martial arts during her teenage years for cheerleading.
A birthday party led her back to martial arts after 16 years.
Balancing martial arts training with parenting is challenging but rewarding.
Meagan's daughters are now black belts, creating a family dynamic in martial arts.
The importance of community and friendships in martial arts training.
Meagan faced physical challenges due to past surgeries when returning to martial arts.
Finding a balance between personal training and children's activities is crucial.
Parenting decisions in martial arts can lead to dilemmas about commitment and agency.
Meagan's journey reflects the complexities of returning to a passion after a long break.
It was very emotional to return to martial arts after so long.
Teaching has translated into her stained glass business.
Confidence in martial arts has helped her in parenting.
Life is all about balance.
Patterns Club has been rewarding for both her and her students.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Introduction
05:59 Balancing Family and Martial Arts
12:01 Parenting Dilemmas in Martial Arts
18:03 Reflections on Growth and Identity
21:59 Navigating Self-Doubt in Martial Arts
26:57 Building Confidence Through Teaching
33:02 The Impact of Martial Arts on Parenting
40:05 Balancing Encouragement and Autonomy in Children
42:01 Future Aspirations in Martial Arts and Teaching
48:57 Creating Community Through Patterns Club
To connect with Meagan: Facebook
To connect with Belted Frog Art: Facebook
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Show Transcript
Jeremy (06:15.778)
Hey, what's going on, everybody? Welcome back, or maybe for the first time, to another episode of Whistlekick Martial Arts Radio. And today I'm joined by Megan McIntyre. Megan, I'm I'm looking forward to getting to know you better and in a different way. What one of the rare times I have a guest on that I actually know and spent some time with and and trained with and and and all that. But instead of trying to tell you all about that, now we're gonna we're gonna see how that unfolds as we progress through this episode. But
Here are a few things that you might want to keep in mind. Whether you're new or you're returning, whistlekick.com is the place to go for all the stuff, all the things that we sell, all the projects that we do, because we do a lot of different stuff. If you're a martial artist who loves martial arts, if martial arts is a big part of your life and you're not aware of all the things that we do, you will probably be sad when you realize all the things that we do because you'll say, Man, I wish I'd known about that thing or this thing or that or whatever sooner. So go to whistlekick.com, check it out. Now.
If Megan and I talk about something that you want to go deeper on, you're like, you know, it's a few days later, and you think, What was it she said? We put transcripts up that you can search through, and we put links to the things we talk about. Maybe we reference another episode. That will all be at whistlekick martial artsradio.com.
And with that, Megan, thanks for coming on the show.
Meagan (07:37.141)
Thank you for having me, Jeremy.
Jeremy (07:39.584)
I like how you you have this bright green wall behind you. I have this this bright blue wall. These are these are not conventional wall colors that either of us have.
Meagan (07:46.884)
No, no, this is like a nice grass green.
Jeremy (07:50.581)
Yeah. It's very, very bright. I'm sure that you know, of course we're both here in Vermont where fourteen months a year it's cold and snowy. So I'm sure you appreciate that room even more in the depths of January.
Meagan (07:56.77)
Yes.
Meagan (08:04.785)
yeah, it gives me something to look forward to. Hopefully spring will come.
Jeremy (08:08.962)
Hopefully there's, you know, it's it's it's funny. People people who don't live in really snowy areas, you don't understand there's a point every year where you say, Is it ever gonna warm up? Every I've lived, I've lived in northern New England my entire life. And I still, you know, sometime mid-January, or honestly, it's usually February for me. I just think, is this, is this how it always is now? Did something happen?
Meagan (08:23.447)
Right.
Meagan (08:27.616)
yeah.
Meagan (08:34.04)
Yeah.
Meagan (08:38.755)
Is something broken?
Jeremy (08:39.038)
Has happened. Did something happen while I was sleeping one night and nobody told me? And it's just cold now forever?
Meagan (08:46.69)
Yeah, I mean that's fair. Especially this year it was really cold.
Jeremy (08:50.216)
man. Brutal. But that's why I always try to go away in February. It it splits the winter up pretty well. Let me do that. Yeah. there are a lot of things I'm unqualified to talk about. Meteorology is is up there. There's I I I can I can look outside and say, That looks hot. I can look at a thermometer and say, It is hot. I can go outside and I can Yeah. Yeah.
Meagan (09:07.404)
Yeah.
Meagan (09:14.602)
Right. I take my hand out the door and be like, Okay, great.
Jeremy (09:19.604)
So we should not have we should not turn this into an episode about weather and meteorology because it will be both depressing and very short.
Meagan (09:30.165)
Right. That's fair, 'cause I am woefully unequipped for that.
Jeremy (09:33.835)
We should talk about martial arts then. All right. Now, you and I have had the pleasure of working together through some whistlekick things, through the Never Settle Awards. We we've I don't know that we've trained directly together. You've cut you've come through Matic, right? Okay, you've been through Matic level one and two. So we've we've worked together in those ways.
Meagan (09:35.955)
Let's do it. Yeah.
Meagan (09:48.577)
Please though. Yes, level one and two.
Jeremy (10:01.142)
Your instructor is one of my favorite people.
Meagan (10:01.47)
I think we partnered right? I think we partnered once at pre training day. Maybe. Or maybe it was at Craig's event. I don't know.
Jeremy (10:05.568)
Okay. Okay, cool. Maybe?
There's so many events. It's hard. It's it's hard to know. It's hard to know. But but what always strikes me when I when I know someone through martial arts is I don't really know them. You know, we don't we don't take breaks from our training and and you know, sit down over lunch and talk about things that aren't martial arts, right? In the context of a martial arts event, we're usually talking about martial arts. So I gotta say, I don't I don't know you.
Meagan (10:12.8)
How many things?
Meagan (10:38.218)
That's fair, Jeremy.
Jeremy (10:38.934)
Which makes that which makes this far more interesting than rehashing all the things. So so so let's let's start with with some martial arts context and we can build our journey around that. When, why, how did you get started?
Meagan (10:58.784)
So I started when I was 11 with a different instructor than who I'm with now. I was homeschooled, and in the state of Vermont, you have to have some kind of physical education. And we decided to taekwondo, because one of our family friends, their daughter, was the instructor, and their homeschool family. So it was very structured towards homeschoolers. so I
Did lessons with her until I hit bluebelt. And then as we know, especially in Taekwondo, the bluebelt blues hit. And I was fourteen. And when you're fourteen, they hit just a little bit harder. And I decided to go to public school. So I decided to get done martial arts altogether.
Jeremy (11:35.96)
Hm.
Jeremy (11:48.77)
Did you go to public school because of martial arts? okay.
Meagan (11:51.583)
No, I went to public school because of cheerleading. I wanted to be a cheerleader. Yeah.
Jeremy (11:54.774)
you wanted to be a cheerlead okay.
Now this isn't Texas. Cheerleading is not featured. We don't talk about it. It is not in fact in most public schools around here, the cheerleading squads are pretty small. What was it about cheerleading that that drew you?
Meagan (12:12.296)
Yes.
Meagan (12:16.538)
Watching movies about high school as a homeschooler, you know, y bring it on, things like that.
Jeremy (12:22.048)
Yeah, I I was trying to remember what movies it was. So you watch you watch Bring It On, you said, I need to do that.
Meagan (12:27.066)
Yeah, I was like, ooh, I want to be a cheerleader. They look like they have a lot of fun. It was not that much fun. I ended up breaking my wrist. So, I mean, while I did it, it was not the highlight of my high school career. I wish I hadn't walked away from martial arts, but I'd explored other opportunities. Had other things that happened in my life in between, including having children. and
Jeremy (12:32.718)
no.
Jeremy (12:53.07)
Mm.
Meagan (12:55.279)
My daughter went to a birthday party that Master Thomas was there. It was a taekwondo birthday party. And we enjoyed it and that's how I got back into martial arts.
So it was an interesting journey.
Jeremy (13:09.627)
How how how old was your was your daughter? Okay.
Meagan (13:13.966)
She was five. It was a preschool birthday party for one of her friends whose entire family trained with Kelly.
Jeremy (13:22.978)
Meagan (13:24.922)
So we went to the birthday party because in preschool everybody gets invited and everybody goes. and so she handed out free passes. Come try a class. And since that free pass, I think we've only missed a week's worth of training. And that's now seven years worth of training.
Jeremy (13:30.274)
Yeah. Yep.
Jeremy (13:48.142)
So we we've got a few years in between fourteen and whatever age you were.
Meagan (13:51.563)
Ye yes.
Yeah, there's like t sixteen years worth of in between.
Jeremy (13:57.975)
Okay, so sixteen years in between. So you are you are firmly an adult at that time.
Meagan (14:03.218)
yeah.
Jeremy (14:06.606)
Talk to me about the the mindset, what's going through your head, you know, your your reexposure to not just martial arts, but
Same martial art, even same lineage? Was it was it ITF when you were a kid too? Okay.
Meagan (14:24.899)
Yes it was. So actually Kelly and my former instructor had the same instructor. So they trained together. So it's interesting to have two different instructors who trained under the same instructor.
Jeremy (14:37.846)
Right. So i it's it's about as close to you go and and and you're reintroduced in a rather unconventional way to pretty much the same thing that you were doing 16 years ago. What's going through your head?
Meagan (14:49.613)
Right.
Meagan (14:57.082)
Can I still physically do this? that was the largest thing. In that 16 year time period, I had two spinal surgeries and a brain surgery. So it was a lot of can I physically still balance myself? Can I still move the way I did? The answer was no. I'm getting back there. I have gotten back there. It took a lot of effort.
But that was the biggest thing going through my mind. And also how am I going to do this with two children? Because where I go. so I had a five year old and a two year old at the time.
Jeremy (15:29.23)
Yeah.
Okay, so younger, so you know so that's it's kinda kinda tough. I mean two two's two's pushing it. Two's pushing it not that there aren't programs for two year olds, but they're pretty much just for two year olds most of the time.
Meagan (15:42.379)
I yeah. Yeah, it was
Meagan (15:49.621)
No. Yeah Kelly actually created a preschool kindergarten class w with my children in it so that I could also participate. We did it kinda like a family thing where I went to classes at the same time as them just so that we could make it work. and then I dragged my nephew and my niece into it as well. But
Jeremy (16:12.706)
Well, her creating that that class suggests that you th the two of you were having some conversation. What w what were those conversations like? What would what were you asking her? What was she telling you? What were what
Meagan (16:23.716)
so a lot of what I was asking was how can I get back into this safely for my body and also so that my kids can do it without you feeling like I'm taking all the focus for myself. because that's hard. You know, as a parent you really want the focus to be on your children. As a martial artist you want to focus on you what you need in order to train.
Jeremy (16:27.528)
Mm. Mm.
Meagan (16:50.463)
so that you can advance, so that you can feel like you're still participating. And yeah, it was. It was hard to balance that. but Kelly has been amazing over the past seven years and helping us really figure out how to shift classes. Like, maybe I'm there as a helper while my children do class and then I do class after they do. So that we can have separate training times and I'm not
Jeremy (16:56.184)
There's a bit of conflict there.
Meagan (17:21.792)
Feeling like I'm taking over. Not necessarily like I'm being left out, but like I'm taking over because they have amazing thoughts and they have great skill individually. But as an adult, my body can kick harder than theirs can, so I I can kick over the person holding the target in the little kid class because it's usually one of our younger helpers. So
I'd rather stand there and hold the target and let them have their moment to shine. And so it took a lot of discussion with Kelly to figure out who gets to shine at what class.
And that was hard to balance in the world of being a parent and
Jeremy (18:06.19)
Yeah. Did did you ever doubt if you were filling the mom role correctly? Are you being a good mom? Yeah.
Meagan (18:14.663)
Yes. Yeah. Especially when it's like, okay, here it's time for my class. You go sit in the corner with a snack and a tablet. You know, that taboo of screen time. You have an hour's worth of just sitting there quietly while I get to train and do something for me. Which is hard as a parent to be like, it's my time to shine and not being like, Okay, well let's go home and let's go do stuff for you. And we've just figured out how to make that balance.
Jeremy (18:24.984)
Right.
Yeah.
Jeremy (18:45.194)
And and and I imagine that that is the answer. There's no there's no perfect solution. It's it's balance and that balance is probably not always the same.
Meagan (18:56.944)
No. No, it changes depending on what's going on. Like if we're at a tournament, I'm usually up helping to judge. now that both my daughters are black belts, they are able to step in and help more at events, tournaments, and testings and things like that. But I would go to judge. so with our testing, we do a panel of judges where we all sing and help.
guide the next level, all the color belts who are coming up. and at one point they were too young to do that and they couldn't help. So it was finding somebody to have my kids while I went for the day to help do that event to help the school grow. Which is another thing to balance. Like, do I stay home with my kids or do I help help grow the school and help encourage the next generation?
Jeremy (19:53.833)
I I think every parent that joins martial arts be with or because of their children has this dream that it's going to bring them closer together. And it doesn't always work that way. In fact, what I tend to see is a family starts and inevitably at least one person six months in is like, you know, and so maybe you get the parents and the two kids or the two kids and one parent and you know, 'cause it's it
Every martial arts school isn't a fit for everyone and that's okay.
Both of your children are black belts. Has this journey brought you closer to them?
Meagan (20:33.65)
At times, yes. the other times it's I don't want to practice my patterns right now. I don't want to do that. I want to go play in the backyard. I don't feel like participating today. Well it's class, we have signed up for this, we have, you know, put in the effort. We're going to continue to put in the effort. this summer especially my oldest daughter is going to be turning twelve very soon.
Jeremy (20:35.15)
What about the other times?
Meagan (21:03.767)
And that age range is interesting, with their opinions and choices. And she was like, I think I'm ready to take the summer off. And I'm like, Well, I'm not. So we're gonna drop you down to one day a week instead of two days a week. And there was some discussion and some unhappy feedback on that moment. we're doing it, because that was mommy's choice.
But it it's again one of those balances. Do you let her quit and regret it like I did? Or do you back off a little bit and let her slow down, maybe not, you know, train two or more times a week, just once a week.
Jeremy (21:52.898)
And so let's let's talk about this because the the big debate among
martial arts instructors, school owners around kids, it really almost always comes down to who gets to make the choice. And on the one hand, you've got I'm a kid. Kids should have some say over their extracurriculars. Kids should have input in their lives. Obviously different amounts at different ages, but
They should have some agency. And then you've got the adults who it's their job to raise the children into adults. It's their job to utilize their context and their life experience to guide children, even sometimes against their wishes. And, you know, different parents. There's no, there's no one right way to parent, of course, but every parent has to do the thing that they think is right.
Jeremy (23:01.87)
How is is was that the dilemma for you? How do I respect her wishes but also set her up to to grow to be the person I want? Or ple yeah. Go ahead.
Meagan (23:03.599)
A little bit.
she has told me for a couple of years now that her goal is to be a master in Taekwondo. And as many people know, that means you're a fourth degree black belt. She's not there yet. And
I want to help her achieve that goal. So that part of the parent brain is: I know you have this goal, I want to help you reach that the best I can. The other part is, well, I mean, you do a lot of other activities, a lot of sporting things. We also homeschool my children, so they have to fulfill that physical education aspect. So it's covered by other activities. We could
Jeremy (23:54.434)
Mm.
Meagan (24:03.361)
Get done Taekwondo for now. But then who all is getting Taekwondo getting done Taekwondo? Is it myself and both of my children? Is it myself and one of my children? Is it just my two children? Like who's who's stopping? And where are we going to pick up that other physical aspect for our lives? Because really it's the only place where I get that energy boost, where I get to
exert myself. So do I also get done because my children aren't going and so the time could go to something else for them? Or do I say, nope, I'm putting my foot down. This is something we do as a family. We're going to continue to do it. So I chose to put my foot down and say, nope, this is something all three of us need. We all need this physical outlet. We all need to just have this time every week.
Where we go and train together, where we see the people who we know. Because you have friends who you only see at Taekwondo. And if you stop doing Taekwondo, you won't see them anymore. Which was another aspect which helped keep my daughter in Taekwondo. Because she has some really great friends that she has made. And that's lovely. So that was a a big reminder and selling point for me was you're not gonna see these people if you don't go. So that helped.
Jeremy (25:30.214)
It's it's it's gotta be tough. You know, I I I'm not a parent. I work with kids through martial arts and and that's the extent of it. I mean, I've worked with kids in other ways in the past. But I've never had kids of my own. So it's easy for me on the outside, and this is why I ask these sorts of questions sometimes. Cause I d I don't have to make this tough dilemma. And some some parents it's it's rough. No, we're gonna keep doing this and
child can escalate their behavior. And sometimes that behavior bleeds out on the floor. And sometimes now I'm engaging in in being a disciplinarian in ways that I don't really want to.
Meagan (26:14.643)
Right. Thankfully my children are pretty happy go lucky kids and they haven't brought it to the floor. and Kelly knows that if they do, she has the right to tell them to get off the floor.
Jeremy (26:21.784)
That's good. That's good.
Jeremy (26:27.32)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Okay.
So let's go back to your journey and this idea that it, you know, you you had rank prior. Maybe you even had your old blue belt. Maybe it was sitting sitting in a drawer or something. Okay. And I think for a lot of people, especially in that transition from child to adult, there's a a very strong awareness of reaching, re-reaching, because I'm imagining you started over as a white belt.
Meagan (26:36.212)
Mm-hmm.
Meagan (26:45.252)
Yes. Yes.
Meagan (27:03.18)
no, Kelly allow me to maintain my blue belt.
Jeremy (27:04.076)
You didn't. Okay. Did you remember your stuff?
Meagan (27:09.331)
I remember Chen Gift the very first right? I could I could do that.
Jeremy (27:11.104)
Okay. Well that's pretty good. Sixteen years rem remembering a a form, that's pretty good. Yeah.
Meagan (27:17.03)
It it made me feel pretty good that I could still do that one. the other seven that I needed to know were just kind of a abstract thought of blocks, strikes and kicks in my brain. but muscle memory I still maintain the first pattern, which made me proud. A little bit. a little sad that I didn't remember the others. But no, thankfully Kelly let me return as a blue belt.
Jeremy (27:35.137)
Interesting.
Meagan (27:46.726)
And that was scary. No, no, when I started over. very much. Yeah, when I started over, I went right into the advanced class when I went as an adult because, you know, you're going in as a blue belt, you know, you're towards towards the higher end, you know, closer to that black belt level. And so I went into the intermediate advanced class to begin with and I felt very
Jeremy (27:50.2)
Did you feel like a blue belt? Did you feel was there was there some imposter syndrome going on there? Yeah.
Jeremy (27:59.753)
Jeremy (28:07.587)
Yeah.
Meagan (28:16.685)
overwhelmed. because I was like I might have a blue belt but I don't feel like a blue belt anymore, you know. I I feel like a white belt.
Jeremy (28:26.39)
I I I'm imagining getting stuck into a yeah. I'm imagining getting stuck into an advanced math class. You know, I I went pretty far in math in college. I haven't done any advanced math since college. If you asked me to, you know, go into even that class, you know, the the the final class that I was doing was was an advanced calculus class. let's do that. no, no, let's let's I I wanna I wanna go back to like algebra two.
Meagan (28:33.55)
yeah.
Meagan (28:50.8)
Is it right?
Jeremy (28:54.648)
Pre-Calc, like like let me go back a ways, let me build back up to this. I would be absolutely terrified if I got placed into even in an equivalent class today, years later. How did you man how did you handle that? It must have been emotional.
Meagan (28:54.972)
Me?
Meagan (29:06.811)
Right.
I talked it was very emotional. I talked to Kelly and I was like, Are you sure that I can't come back as a wipe out? Like, I feel like a wipeout. I I don't remember my forms, I don't remember the proper chambering for kick. Like, I mean, it's been 16 years. I've had two kids and all these other things that have happened in my life. I don't I don't feel this. And she's like, it's okay. Go at your pace. Do what you can.
And you're going to surprise yourself with how fast you get there. And I was like, hmm, I don't know if I am, but I'm glad you have confidence in me and I will try and sign that. And I I did. I made it back. Within two months, I was able to do four patterns instead of one, which was great. and that really helped a lot. And I was actually able to get to the point where I got my high blue within
Jeremy (29:46.315)
Ha ha ha.
Meagan (30:08.695)
a year of being there which made me feel really good and then it pushed me to keep going. But it took a lot to gain the confidence to go for that high blue.
Jeremy (30:22.914)
Was there were were you still feeling that imposter syndrome when you went for that test?
Meagan (30:30.016)
Yes. Yes I was. I think until I got red I was feeling it, really. Until I w went and leveled up one more time.
Jeremy (30:37.26)
What what what changed it red that that started to fade?
Meagan (30:43.501)
Felt like I could help more. That I wasn't the one that everyone was helping. That I could step in and help other people. That my knowledge came back enough where I could be like, hmm, when you're doing that, turn just a little bit more. Or, you know, maybe try this instead. Or that's not an L stance. That's I'm not sure what that is, but that's not what you're what we're supposed to be doing. Once I gain the confidence and
Jeremy (30:44.91)
Mm.
Jeremy (30:48.374)
Mm.
Meagan (31:13.599)
regain the knowledge. I felt like I was actually there, that I actually deserve to be where I'm at.
Jeremy (31:28.44)
Did that transition as you started to feel like you belonged, like the the belt around your waist was deserved? Did that change anything outside of training? Work, home, the kids, anywhere else?
Meagan (31:42.946)
Yeah, it actually gave me more confidence in my business. I am a stained glass artist by trade. and I started teaching classes on stained glass. I started teaching other people how to do what I do. and the teacher aspect in martial arts has helped me translate the teacher aspect into my stained glass business, which has been excellent. Kelly
Jeremy (32:09.262)
Yeah.
Meagan (32:12.802)
When she talked to us about becoming judges at the first ever testing leveling up, I went to as a judge, was like, you know, it's okay to be nervous. But remember, when you put on your uniform, this is your super suit. You are not yourself once you have this on. You can be anybody else. You're you are super confident with this on. And I have
A uniform shirt that I wear when I teach my staying glass classes and I treat it the same way. It is my second super suit. It it does. It it says belted frog art on it, because that's the name of my company. Because I love frogs and I'm a martial artist, so it has it it literally is a belt, a black belt on a little frog. That is my logo. so
Jeremy (32:44.942)
Cool. Nice. What does it say? Does it have words on it? What's it?
Jeremy (32:52.908)
Okay. Okay, cool.
Belted frog. Love it.
Jeremy (33:02.894)
Mm-hmm.
That's cool.
Meagan (33:09.406)
That confidence has transitioned nicely from martial arts into my business. and it has helped me also with parenting because I see a lot of different kids helping at Taekwondo classes. being an one of the assistant instructors. There's times where when Kelly goes on vacation, I step in to help teach. And you see a lot of kids. Lots of kids. And I help teach the after school program.
with martial arts, which has also given me an interesting perspective into public school life. and I I can say I'm happy at home school. yes.
Jeremy (33:45.762)
Mm.
You did say your kit your kids are homeschooled, so I think we can we can infer some things from that.
Meagan (33:54.791)
Yes. so it's given me an interesting perspective on maybe how other parenting situations work out. and it's helped me appreciate the confidence that I have in parenting my own children. I see them in the martial arts world where they are pushed to their limits. And I bring that home and I push to that same level of limit and then back off.
And then push them some more. It's it's all. It's always the give and take in the balance. Life is all about it.
Jeremy (34:35.18)
there are there moments in training where it's hard to not be mom?
Meagan (34:41.034)
yes. Weekly. Yeah, 'cause you know they fidget. They move. When you're lined up and in line and you know, they now have black belts around their their cute little waist. And I'm like, Okay, you are a black belt. You must stand still and pay attention. And they're fidgeting with their fingers or they're twirling and dancing and I'm like, No, stop.
Jeremy (34:43.501)
Weekly.
Meagan (35:07.067)
You know, you're supposed to stand straight and listen when the instructor is teaching. And as the mom, you're like I'd love to correct you right now, but I can't. It's not my job right now. My job is to stand straight and listen to the instructor and let her fix what they're doing wrong. Or there's times where my youngest daughter has a condition with her joints that makes her very wobbly. She's hypermobile. and so she's
Jeremy (35:36.482)
Taylor's Dan Los?
Meagan (35:37.763)
Yes, yep. She's very bendy. but that also leads to injuries. And sometimes those injuries are quick injuries that in the moment it hurts really bad, but within half an hour it's fine. And when we train together in class, those injuries happen. Now, if I send her with her uncle, sometimes less of those injuries happen. So I'm like, hmm.
Well it's are you really that injured when mom's at class? Or is it just mommy's at class, so you need that moment of care, that moment of acknowledging that you're there?
Jeremy (36:20.204)
Yeah, it's i I would imagine it can be easy to forget that, this person has earned their black belt, so they are self sufficient and and has shed all of the needs of being a child. Which obviously is ridiculous. It's not true.
Meagan (36:32.844)
Right. It it is, yes. I mean she's eight. And and at eight, you still need hugs. You still need that, you know, you love me. I'm doing great, right? I'm still here, I'm still doing it. Which is awesome. And I'm I'm happy to do that. I love my children. But sometimes I'm like, I'm in the middle of kicking. Can you just let me finish my turn kicking? And then I will give you a hug. Like
Jeremy (36:41.581)
Yeah.
Meagan (37:02.987)
It really in the moment.
Jeremy (37:07.886)
How other other than the PE requirement, has has training changed anything in the way that they're homeschooled?
Meagan (37:17.453)
Not necessarily in the way they're homeschooled. training is actually what led us to find out that my daughter has Ehlers Damlos. so she started training with Kelly when she was eighteen months. She was determined. because Big Sister was doing it. And if Big Sister did it and mommy was doing it, she had to do it. So she started training really small.
Jeremy (37:26.445)
Okay.
Meagan (37:47.011)
and Kelly brought it to our attention that she ran a little bit differently than the other kids of her age, or close to her age. And then some of her movements were a little bit different than other kids in her same Taekwondo group. And so we brought it to the attention of her pediatrician, whose children also trained with Kelly. So she was able to sit and watch Zoe at class train and see that.
Yeah, something wasn't quite right. So actually, thankfully, to martial arts, we figured out what's what's going on with my daughter as a result of going to class, which is amazing.
Not something everybody is able to say that they were diagnosed because they were doing martial arts.
Jeremy (38:36.805)
Right. Right. I I
I I I have have some jokes in mildly poor taste at my own expense that I I don't I don't think I'm gonna make, but I'll just leave that out there for everyone to to kind of imagine.
I started when I was four, you can infer from there. Yeah. Okay.
Meagan (38:55.695)
yeah.
Jeremy (39:02.941)
Is there
Here here's here's the hard question. I imagine you've asked this, but asked this of yourself. Is there a situation in which you let the kids stop?
Meagan (39:18.806)
Hmm great physical injury.
Meagan (39:25.483)
I really strongly regret ending for myself. not only because I could have been a black belt sooner. That had nothing to do with it. It's more that I could have continued to care about myself, put myself ahead of what was going on. I probably would have made a lot different choices in my life if I had stuck with martial arts.
Because I wouldn't have gone to public school. I wouldn't have been exposed to everything that was happening in that situation. I mean, I probably still would have had to have the other spinal surgery because that's a whole other medical history part. So that wouldn't have changed necessarily. But maybe my recovery would have been a lot different. it was not easy.
Obviously a they cut open your back from the middle to the bottom, you know. So th those muscles have done that three times in my lifetime. so maybe recovery would have been different if I was constantly training and doing the sit ups and push ups and jumping jacks and you know, all the physical aspect every day. at that point in my life I wasn't. And before we at that point in my life I hadn't been doing it either.
Jeremy (40:32.91)
Yes.
Meagan (40:53.928)
So if I had stuck with that, there could have been some really great benefits. And I don't want my children to have that same regret. I don't want them to hit that and be like, you know, I'm really upset that you let me stop.
Jeremy (41:08.302)
Yeah. There there's some there's this really interesting dynamic within martial arts. And I've talked about this on the show. You've probably even heard me say this in the context of MATIC, which for for those of you out there that might not be aware, that's that is our teacher training credential program, martial arts teacher training and certification.
I don't I I've had so many people come up to me and say, I used to do karate, taekwondo, kung fu, whatever when I was a kid. I only did it for X period of time, six months, twelve months, two years, you know. I wish I'd stayed with it. And I really want my kids to do it. Or I'm getting my child started, or or whatever it is. I grew up playing soccer, I ran track.
Plenty of my friends played other sports. I've never heard anybody say anything like that about other sports. The closest I've heard is, yeah, I got a lot from my years playing X. But they don't present it in that dramatic way.
And so I'm guessing that that
Jeremy (42:22.658)
That that's the closest I can come to that that sentiment you have as a parent saying, No, I'm gonna I'm gonna kind of force you into this, even if I have to you know, if I have to, because I know how good it is going to be for you.
Meagan (42:38.901)
Yeah. No, I agree. I did let my children do cheerleading. They quit cheerleading. I was okay with that. They can do it again later in life if they want to. And they could go back to martial arts.
Jeremy (42:43.886)
Mm-hmm.
Meagan (42:52.731)
I did. Clearly it's possible. But they were both so close to leveling up that I was like, no, we're not getting done right now. You're gonna level up soon. Just hang in there.
Jeremy (43:06.786)
No. And and for th again for for folks out there, leveling up is what Master Thomas calls the rank promotion cycle at at the school. It's it's there's there's a whole other subject. In fact, she may have talked about this. She's been on a number of Thursday shows. There may be one or two where where that's discussed.
Meagan (43:25.392)
I believe they're probably Yeah. so that they were both so close. I didn't want to give up. I'm like, just you're almost there. My youngest is going for her second degree black belt in December, which is crazy and exciting. but I don't want them to give up. I don't want them to have that regret later in life that I should have just stuck with it. I could have been
so much further, I could have done so many things, I could help so many other people. my oldest is now learning the joy of helping to teach, which is amazing. Mostly the little kids, and I'm okay with that. but it is interesting to watch the dynamic when she helps adults the floor belt adults who are coming up through and she'll walk over and she'll be like, can I help you with that? And they're like, I don't know, can you?
Yes, actually she can. She's a second degree black bell. She she does know what she's doing. But it it's interesting.
Jeremy (44:23.522)
Ha ha ha.
Jeremy (44:30.232)
She knows some stuff. Yeah.
Yeah.
I think about this a lot, this this subject of
The balance between forcing a child to take an action versus the the benefits of that action. And if there was a a pill, if there was a pill you could make your kid take that was guaranteed to make them more focused, more disciplined, more
successful in their chosen careers, more independent, more communicative, improve their physical benefits, right? Like take a list of all the commonly agreed upon benefits of martial arts and put it in a pill and then charge, I don't know, $10,000 for that pill, parents would line up for it. It's a pretty easy cut and dry proposition, but because it takes time.
Jeremy (45:36.169)
That's where the challenge I think comes comes into play. And any one class is not the answer. None of those benefits occur in one class. And in fact, I would argue that most of those benefits, you don't notice them across with any class. It's not, okay, from here to here. You have to zoom out to see the benefits, but the benefits are are there. And so as a parent, and again, I I I full I'm fully aware.
I am unqualified to make a decision on this. That's why I merely speculate as a non-parent. Where is that line? I know you need to go to the doctor. I'm gonna make you go to the doctor. I know that you shouldn't eat that whatever it is that you're trying to eat. I'm going to wrestle you to the ground and remove it from your mouth or hands if I have to. I know that that.
Meagan (46:14.959)
Right.
Meagan (46:27.893)
Yes. Mm-hmm.
Jeremy (46:33.358)
person you want to associate with is bad news. You are not permitted to hang out with them. And I will go drag you out of their car or their home if I have to.
Meagan (46:42.818)
Mm-hmm.
Jeremy (46:46.484)
All of those suggest strong negative consequences, right? If I don't take this action, they are potentially injured or sick or or you know worse.
Meagan (46:55.71)
yeah. Something terrible could happen. Yes.
Jeremy (47:01.24)
But when it becomes I wanna I wanna make sure they get all these benefits, that's a harder it's a it's harder to push in that way.
Meagan (47:01.559)
But not
Meagan (47:11.393)
Right? It's harder to justify it as the parent. Am I just pushing to push? Am I just not giving up? Should I give in? Should I just let them do what they feel they want to do? Or should I just keep pushing? Because I know in the long run it will benefit them. In the long run it will make them a better person. It will give them stronger confidence. I it will give them
Jeremy (47:13.174)
Yeah, yeah.
Meagan (47:39.467)
A better understanding of other people if they just continue.
Jeremy (47:44.077)
Yeah. Th there's I I've said this on the show before. One day, hopefully we're big enough and we have the resources so I can commission this study so I have actual data and not just an observation. When you look at high functioning C level executives at large companies, there is an above average percentage that have done martial arts for a bunch of years.
Jeremy (48:09.322)
we can we can make some we can we can draw some conclusions from that right but without the without the data people would would well if your child spends five years doing traditional martial arts twice a week for one hour a class they are 37% more likely to have this that and the other benefit they are they they have this increased lifespan
Meagan (48:18.303)
Hm. Right.
Jeremy (48:36.867)
and they will make this much more money in their professional career over over their lifetime before retirement. You know, when you could put numbers like that in front of people, it changes it.
Meagan (48:44.912)
Mm-hmm.
Right. Then you'll Yeah, you'll have more people signing up. Right. Well, the super ambitious crowd.
Jeremy (48:51.906)
But would we? Hopefully.
Jeremy (49:01.698)
So let's let's talk future. Let's talk next. Let's talk because here you are, you you we can say you went on a on a sixteen year hiatus. And yeah, just a just a little break, you know. It's it's cool. But you're back and you know, if I'm if I'm doing my math right, are we talking eight years? Okay. So did three years, took sixteen.
Meagan (49:13.791)
Yeah, I just took a little
Meagan (49:18.827)
Yeah.
Meagan (49:25.663)
Yeah.
Jeremy (49:31.106)
Back eight.
If it wasn't gonna stick, it would have happened by now. It stock.
Meagan (49:38.183)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's great. I have class tonight. I'm excited. I'm headed tonight.
Jeremy (49:48.878)
Wh where does where does this journey take you?
Meagan (49:52.097)
master. Definitely I I want my fourth. which is another three and a half years away. Not that I'm counting. I don't have a countdown, you know. Clearly, no countdown.
Jeremy (50:01.688)
No, not clearly.
Meagan (50:07.465)
Possibly a school, I don't know. It depends on what more of my future holds. We'll have to see. really just continuing to train for myself to continue to lead Patterns Club, which is something I do at my home. Yeah. Sure, let's talk about that.
Jeremy (50:29.41)
Yeah.
Meagan (50:33.923)
so Patterns Club is an opportunity I present to my fellow students to come to my backyard and work on their forms, either to tweak things, to learn new parts of it, to understand it just a little bit differently. Because not every class time do we have time to go through forms. Nor do you want to do that.
For an hour every week.
Jeremy (51:05.996)
And there's and y you get to a certain point where even if you did, you don't have time to do them all.
Meagan (51:12.207)
Right. Yeah, especially as you get higher in ranking. Nobody has time to do like the third dawn patterns. We don't get to do those at class, 'cause you start at number one and then you have to go up to number seventeen or eighteen or nineteen. There's just no time for that. You can't do that in an hour. Especially not to pick it apart and go through you know, are you holding your arm correctly? Is your hand in the right spot? Are you putting your hand on your hip?
Which is things that we get to work at at Patterns Club. I can stop and see people. I can help them individually understand what their body's doing. You know, we can stop and take a picture and be like, no, do you see when I say that you're doing this, you're really doing this. You're not quite hitting where you need to. Your body's not moving quite the right way. Which again, at Patterns Club, we figure out how we help people who
maybe have some mobility issues, or maybe their body can't do exactly what's required in whatever pattern or form they're working on. Can we modify it? Can we help you change it just a little bit so that it works for your body, but it's still meeting the requirement of the form? Because as you know, ITF is one of the only martial arts that has a written direction for forms from the creator.
Jeremy (52:38.44)
Yeah, and it's and for those of you who are unfamiliar with with ITF Taekwondo and the encyclopedia, it is very how many volumes is it? It's big. It's a lot of pages. This is we're not talking about a few photocopied handouts that show no, this is incredibly detailed and some schools take it incredibly seriously that you this is
The Bible of what you do, and what you do does not change from this. Some schools are a little more fluid on it, but for schools that follow it, there's a lot. There's a lot of detail. General Choi did not sit down and say, you know, I got an hour, I'm gonna knock out these three forms. It was more, I've got these three hours, I'm gonna knock out the first three moves.
Meagan (53:26.276)
Right? No.
Meagan (53:31.212)
Yes. Very much so. So then trying to follow that, but also help modify for people who can't quite meet what the general was requiring. We can do that at Patterns Club. Which then gives them time to do other things during class time. Things, you know, like learning how to kick properly. That's not what Patterns Club is for. I can help you with it, but that's not what we're doing, you know, that's not
the designated time for this. and in my backyard we have a trampoline. So the kids come, they do their pattern, they go play on the trampoline or the swing set, and then they come back and they do it some more. So it helps with that that need to get out the wiggles but also helps with the focus on their pattern, which parents appreciate because their kids getting to learn but also have that big body movement.
That they really need, especially when they're outdoors and the fresh air and you know, it's very distracting to see a trampoline. Like there's definitely been kids who have come for the first time and they're beeline for the trampoline, and I'm like, Whoop, stop. I'm gonna put my body in front of you and say, Nope, that's not what we're here for at this minute. You can go use it, definitely. But first you have to show me your pattern.
Jeremy (54:37.538)
Yeah.
Jeremy (54:54.094)
They have to earn the right to jump on the trampoline
Meagan (54:56.34)
Yes, they have to earn the right for the for the playground equipment.
Jeremy (54:57.966)
I like that. I like that. Wh where did where did the idea for doing Patterns Club come from?
Meagan (55:03.656)
So, some former students that I trained with, Ray Mason and his son, had one in another town. They're also they were also part of the kick school. They had one that they were doing to get ready for black belt testing, with people who trained in Orwell, which is like half an hour away from here. And I couldn't quite make it to that one 'cause
Distance, time of the week, you know, just many variables of life. I couldn't make it to theirs. And a lot of people from Virgin's couldn't make it to theirs. And a lot of people from Middlebury couldn't make it to theirs. So for those of you who don't know, Kelly has four locations where she teaches. They're rather spread out. and that one location
It was great for the people there. But then there was a lot of us who weren't getting it and who couldn't make it.
Jeremy (56:09.72)
Vermont is a very distributed area. It it would take just so folks know, Megan, you're probably as the crowflies, forty miles from me. It would take me ninety minutes to get there.
Meagan (56:13.467)
yes.
Meagan (56:26.241)
yeah, on a good day. But not a too good day because then there's construction.
Jeremy (56:27.606)
Yeah. Yeah. We Right. We we don't have roads that go east to west. So even though Vermont is a small state, a short distance can be really challenging. But please continue.
Meagan (56:34.343)
No. I go.
Meagan (56:38.941)
Yeah, you know, over mountains and through the woods. Yeah, so we started Patterns Club at my house. a couple of my other black belt classmates have helped out and you know, that way we can train our patterns for us and have that time, but also to help all the color belts who come and are like, my goodness, I don't understand what this is. You know, I learned it in five minutes at class and
I forgot it. Or this doesn't feel right. Am I doing this the way I'm supposed to? And now I can be like, ooh, not quite. I'm not sure if your brain remembered that wrong or if the person you were learning it from doesn't remember it well. But let's change it up a little bit. Let's tweak it. Let's help you hit that mark that you need to hit the right part of the pattern.
Jeremy (57:10.178)
Ha ha.
Meagan (57:38.3)
And it's been really rewarding. Because there's definitely been students who were maybe not gonna make the leveling up list, and then they came to Patterns Club for two weeks, three weeks, and then Kelly was like, Great, you can test. You have made the leveling up list, and the smiles and the happiness from those kids and even the adults, it's been fantastic, it's very rewarding.
Jeremy (58:04.856)
Putting in the work, getting the results.
Meagan (58:07.097)
Yes. Trying to.
Jeremy (58:09.214)
Nice. Nice. Well, anybody who's watching this probably saw that the the the two things that I saw you really smiling about were talking about your kids and talking about Patterns Club. I I know you enjoy teaching. And I will go okay, nice. Okay, we well, you need a crown. I don't know what would be on it to be to
Meagan (58:23.773)
I do. They call me Patterns Queen. Just so you know that's my nickname.
Meagan (58:35.869)
I have a shirt that says patterns, Queen.
Jeremy (58:38.676)
Fantastic. I love it. I love it. You gotta send pictures of these shirts. We gotta, we gotta put these pictures in in the show notes. Okay.
Meagan (58:44.977)
Yeah, I'll take a picture of it.
Jeremy (58:49.934)
I hope that you find a way to at the very least continue the work that you're doing teaching, if not find a way to make that a a bigger part of your life. I'm not and I'm saying it that way because it doesn't necessarily mean that you open your own school, but I just I hope that that that you continue to walk in that path because of the big smile on your face when you talk about it with a
Meagan (59:12.573)
Well, thank you.
Jeremy (59:15.424)
If people want to get a hold of you or maybe they want to check out your stained glass or or any any of the things, where do they go?
Meagan (59:19.197)
Mm-hmm.
Right. Facebook. I'm on Facebook. so me personally you can message me on Facebook, Megan McIntyre, if you'd like to check out my stained glass, it's Belted Frog Art on Facebook.
Jeremy (59:37.696)
Easy. How do we close? What what do you want the audience to walk away from our conversation thinking about?
Meagan (59:47.076)
Just keep pushing.
Keep trying. Don't give up on yourself. Don't give up on your kids. Try not to give up on other people's kids. That's harder. But also try not to give up on other people's kids.