Episode 1019 - Martial Arts Myths
In this episode join Jeremy and Jason Brick as they discuss many myths surrounding martial arts and family safety.
Martial Arts Myths - Episode 1019
SUMMARY
In this conversation, Jeremy Lesniak and Jason Brick explore some myths surrounding martial arts and family safety. They discuss the importance of understanding the realities of family safety, the misconceptions about code words for child safety, and the dangers of the 'stranger danger' myth. The dialogue emphasizes the need for practical solutions and a shift in perspective regarding safety and self-defense.
They also discuss the misconceptions surrounding 'stranger danger' and emphasize the importance of teaching children about safety, boundaries, and compassion. They explore how to empower kids to seek help from safe adults and the significance of understanding real dangers, such as the risks associated with prescription medications.
The discussion also highlights the role of compassionate parenting in helping children navigate their mistakes and the importance of awareness in ensuring family safety.
TAKEAWAYS
Myths in martial arts often stem from outdated beliefs.
Family safety requires a comprehensive understanding of risks.
Code words for child safety may not be effective in practice.
Stranger danger myths can create unnecessary fear in children.
Focus on behaviors rather than labels for better safety outcomes.
Teach children who to approach for help, not to avoid strangers.
Most dangers come from people children know, not strangers.
Compassion can improve parenting and de-escalate situations.
Setting boundaries is crucial for children's safety.
Most poisonings are due to medications, not household cleaners.
Awareness of real dangers is essential for parents.
Compassionate responses can prevent escalation in conflicts.
Children need to learn about consequences of their actions.
Understanding risks associated with prescription medications is vital.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Introduction
02:00 Exploring Myths in Family Safety
11:06 Debunking the Code Word Myth
15:24 Understanding Stranger Danger Myths
17:21 Rethinking Stranger Danger
22:30 Teaching Boundaries and Respect
28:56 Compassionate Parenting
34:55 Understanding Real Dangers
38:11 The Importance of Awareness
After listening to the episode, it would be exciting for us to know your thoughts about it. Don’t forget to drop them in the comment section down below!
SHOW TRANSCRIPT
Jeremy Lesniak (23:03.544)
What's on everyone? Welcome back to another episode of Whistlekick martial arts radio. And on today's episode, I'm joined again for the third time ever, right? Third time ever by Jason Brick. We're going to talk through some martial arts myths and not really a spoiler alert, but some free framing. Some of these may bother some of you.
I don't even know what they are, but he told me that some of them have been bothering people he's talked to. So who knows? Maybe they're going to bother me. We'll find out. If you're new to the show, please check out whistlekick.com and whistlekick commercial arts radio dot com for all the episodes, every episode we've ever done. And then, of course, whistlekick.com is all the things that we do because this company is about more than a podcast. What are you going to find over at whistlekick.com? Our entire product line, our events, content that we make and just
so much more. check out all that good stuff. Follow us on social media and most importantly join the email list and you can do that from whistlekickmarshallwatchradio.com. You get a book you're not going to find anywhere else. And what else do you get? A bunch of behind the scenes, some other good stuff. And we make sure you never miss an episode. So Jason, welcome back to Marshals Watch Radio.
Jason Brick (24:20.422)
Jeremy, it's always good to be here, always good just top of here.
Jeremy Lesniak (24:23.47)
Yeah, I have a good time talking with you. have... We're not gonna tell everyone what the prior conversation was. But it was a perfect illustration of the conversations you and I have. Because there's always laughter. And I won't say, this is gonna make people wonder, and then, you know, that's fine. They can wonder.
Jason Brick (24:39.594)
Yes.
Jeremy Lesniak (24:52.854)
A lot of people would say, you know, it doesn't matter what's going on. He can, he can find a way to make me laugh. You know, even if something's bad, we can still find a reason to laugh. When I talk to you, I laugh more when it's less appropriate. There's a complete shift to the other end of the spectrum. Right.
Jason Brick (25:14.783)
Well that's a load-bearing dark sense of humor as they say. It's not going anywhere.
Jeremy Lesniak (25:17.234)
Yes, yes, no, it is greatly appreciated. Now, let's... When we pose this subject of myths, of martial arts myths, and I know you and I have trained together and of course, two, what are the two episodes you've been on? Five, five something?
Jason Brick (25:39.295)
526 and 687. 526 was when I first started my podcast, started talking about family safety, and 687 was my first book, There I Was When Nothing Happened, which you're in.
Jeremy Lesniak (25:41.614)
526 and 680.
All right. Yep.
Jeremy Lesniak (25:50.894)
Okay. That's right. I am in that book. That's a good book. Everybody should get that book. And we'll talk more about books and the things that you do. You know, we're going to throw that towards the back. But when you and I talk, it's very clear that you're interested in, as I am, some of the intellectual side of things, the academic side of things.
Jason Brick (25:52.89)
Yes, it should. Yeah.
Jeremy Lesniak (26:17.996)
the behind the scenes, between the lines, right? Like the real, even if the real upsets the apple cart a little bit, you're not afraid to push against the current. Is that a fair characterization?
Jason Brick (26:31.742)
I think so, absolutely. I don't mean to, I just end up finding myself there from time to time.
Jeremy Lesniak (26:38.7)
I can move it. So did you set out to dispel myths? Were these things that you had an inkling of? And you're like, I'm going to find data and conduct survey and do stuff like that and piss a bunch of people off? Or did it come more accidentally?
Jason Brick (26:56.208)
So the stuff that I wanted to talk about today were all things that came as a surprise to me. And I want to do a little caveat that most of them aren't martial arts myths, but they're myths that martial artists often hold. We mentioned in that first episode we had that I had started this podcast, Safest Family on the Block, where I interviewed every possible expert I could find about family safety. And it would be a...
Jeremy Lesniak (27:08.332)
Okay, that's an important.
Jeremy Lesniak (27:13.528)
Mm.
Jason Brick (27:20.572)
Police sergeant one week and then a Navy SEAL the next week But then it would be a nutritionist followed by a child psychologist followed by an EMT Just every possible thing and through those I found things that I believed that were just wrong about keeping our family safe and I'm You know, you and I've been training for a very long time. We take it take our responsibility to keep our people safe very seriously But it took me stepping out of I think a martial arts in general
Jeremy Lesniak (27:25.102)
Mmm.
Jason Brick (27:48.323)
Many, many, many, many cultures, many industries have this. I think martial arts is a little more vulnerable to this because of the way information is siloed in our culture, where you're running around with good intentions, repeating something you heard once that made sense, but it turns out it's the opposite.
Jeremy Lesniak (28:06.616)
We have this inherent value of things because they're older. It's one of the few industries that prioritizes the old over the new. Most industries over-correct in the other way. The new is always better than the old. we seem to, here's a metaphor I think you'll appreciate. Martial arts, we tend to approach it in the way that someone might approach. Scotch, just because it's older, it's better.
Jason Brick (28:09.753)
Yeah.
Jason Brick (28:36.058)
Yeah, absolutely. I think, although I think the culture of martial arts has gotten better in the last 20 to 30 years, for a very long time there was that viewpoint of you don't go beyond your own teacher for information. That was really frowned upon for a very, long time.
Jeremy Lesniak (28:56.046)
So let's start digging into these myths. And I heard you when you said they're not martial arts myths, they're myths that martial artists hold. Yeah, so what's the first one? Let's see if we can piss people off right in beginning.
Jason Brick (28:56.888)
Well, yeah.
Jason Brick (29:04.748)
Off and hold. Yeah.
So here's a really good illustration of the kind of thing I'm talking about. this is going to be great. So we're recording this in early spring. So that means we've got maybe, which means we're about six weeks out at maximum from the first news story about somebody leaving their baby in a car and that car dying from overheating. That's going to happen. Now I want you to picture for a second the person, the parent.
Jeremy Lesniak (29:17.784)
of 2025 in case people come back later.
Jeremy Lesniak (29:28.014)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Jason Brick (29:37.961)
And we usually assume that that person is drunk or otherwise irresponsible. Some of us who are picturing it right now might have just discovered an unconscious bias that we have. But that totally irresponsible parent screwing up. Statistically, that's not the case. Overwhelmingly, the parent who is in that situation is a responsible, caring parent.
who isn't normally responsible to take the baby to daycare in the morning.
Jeremy Lesniak (30:11.222)
It's a change in habit.
Jason Brick (30:11.412)
And yeah, autopilots are thick. For example, think back to the last time you pulled into your driveway after work with no clear memory of getting there. Was that a week ago? Was it two weeks ago? Almost nobody has it a month ago. If that happened to you and your partner was sick and you were on duty to get that kid to the daycare, and because all that happened,
Jeremy Lesniak (30:29.57)
Yeah.
Jason Brick (30:40.032)
the day, the morning is already a cluster. And because the age at which young children are vulnerable to this is still our, we haven't slept properly in three weeks to three years state. So we're already sleep deprived and stressed. And you just get in the car and you go. And then, yeah.
Jeremy Lesniak (30:43.16)
Mm-hmm.
Jeremy Lesniak (31:00.086)
Yeah, that's I, I'd never considered it from this way, but this makes a lot of sense. It's that it's, it's autopilot. And I think, you know, we'll come, we'll come back to this example for a moment. But I think if we, you know, what other lessons can we take from this? We know that so much of our training ends up in autopilot because we are taught to do that. Right. And there's, there's absolutely value in what is that autopilot result.
Jason Brick (31:10.952)
out
Jason Brick (31:19.338)
Yes.
Jeremy Lesniak (31:30.978)
But if you remain in autopilot, and to me, this is actually one of the best uses of forms of kata, pumsay, whatever you want to call it, is that most people, once they've done a while, they go on autopilot. And I can see it. I can see it in their eyes. They can say, you were not engaged. You weren't fully present, moving meditation.
Jason Brick (31:36.629)
Yeah.
Jason Brick (31:45.472)
Yeah.
Jeremy Lesniak (31:50.658)
to be able to flip in and out of that autopilot, think has a lot of value. you know, yeah, if somebody's sleep deprived and it's who knows what in the morning and they're not used to that routine and, know, they're probably leaving even earlier than normal because they've got to drop the baby off when they weren't planning on it. Yeah.
Jason Brick (31:54.761)
Absolutely.
Jason Brick (32:08.308)
Yeah. And then what happens every time that tragedy occurs, right, is you'll get the advice on the media, on the social media about, don't let that happen by putting your briefcase or your phone in the back seat. And then you get the raft of snarky comments about, yeah, put something important in the back seat. And imply that your kid's not important. But it's not that it's more important, it's that it's automatic. So you pull into the driveway.
Jeremy Lesniak (32:32.707)
It's the habit piece. You need to break the habit so you can't complete your habit.
Jason Brick (32:37.703)
Exactly. So you pull in in the morning and you reach for your phone and say, where's my phone? Where's my, my phone's in the back seat. Why is my phone in the back? and then you start cussing. Yeah. But it's much better to start cussing than run into work. And of course you're running late. So it's already become a hairball. And so the big myth is that we're not vulnerable to that tragedy. And it's a tragedy that is so easy to fix. And we just kind of set our egos aside.
Jeremy Lesniak (32:45.774)
I have a baby in the car. Right.
Jeremy Lesniak (32:54.722)
Yeah.
Jason Brick (33:05.606)
adopt some habits that we may think we're too good to need.
Jeremy Lesniak (33:10.338)
And, you know, there may be some folks out there, especially if they're new to what we do at martial arts radio, they might say, Jeremy, what does this have to do with martial arts? Well, when I when I define self-defense, I'm thinking of it in terms of all of the things that might injure myself, right? If I have a family, if I have a child losing that child injures myself as a member of my family, right? In the same way that
You mentioned nutrition. Nutrition is relevant to me from a self-defense perspective as I define it. Maybe you out there don't define it that way, but that's up to you. You can skip forward a few minutes to the next one we're going to talk about if that's how you feel.
Jason Brick (33:46.653)
Talk to you.
Cardio and diabetes, self-defense, just look at the lead causes of death in North America.
Yeah. That's about it. That's about it. that acknowledging that that's something we're vulnerable to even though we're not alcoholics.
Jeremy Lesniak (33:57.388)
Right. Is there more to say on that one or do we move on to the next myth? OK. OK.
Jeremy Lesniak (34:06.423)
Sure sure, what's the next one?
Jason Brick (34:11.281)
So the next one is a technique that a lot of people have learned somewhere along the line, and it's that code word idea. Now there's lots of code words that are very, very good, but there's a specific one that almost everybody listening has heard of and may have advised, which is, say for some reason you can't pick your kid up from school, from soccer practice, from piano lessons, from whatever, and neither can your partner, neither can the uncle who lives in town. So what you do is you give your kid a code word.
Jeremy Lesniak (34:31.618)
Mm-hmm.
Jeremy Lesniak (34:40.258)
Mm-hmm.
Jason Brick (34:40.484)
And then the adult that you have gotten to go pick them up comes up and the kid asks for the code word. The adult says the code word, the kid knows it's safe. this is, yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah. my wife reminds me of hers. They use pots because they thought that a stop sign would help them remember it. Cause pots and stop are, what is that? I can't remember what the term is for that, but anyway, yeah, terrible idea as so.
Jeremy Lesniak (34:51.64)
this. I still remember mine.
Jeremy Lesniak (35:00.878)
Hmm.
Jeremy Lesniak (35:07.191)
Mm. Why?
Jason Brick (35:09.189)
First reason is, they've done the studies, kids of an age to need this can't remember it. Not under the kind of stress and pressure where it would be called on. And more importantly, it's a secret.
How do you talk about a secret? You whisper. Can you whisper without being in arm's reach of a
Jason Brick (35:37.659)
So there it is. but what? Right? Neither had I.
Jeremy Lesniak (35:41.806)
I'd never thought of it that way. The stress, the pressure, that makes sense. I don't know why the lighting just changed in here. I don't know if that came through on the camera, but it just decided to. Well, you know what? We're just going to live with it. Keep going.
Jason Brick (35:47.578)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Jason Brick (36:00.526)
Now, we both have faces made for radio, it's... So yeah, but... So, yeah, it's a terrible idea. It doesn't work in practice and it actually endangers your child. Because an adult who comes up and says, your parents told me to pick me up, you're gonna get close enough to the adult to whisper the code word. But what's the alternative? And it's actually pretty simple. Which is, you find three or four adults who can pick up your kid that you know.
Jeremy Lesniak (36:03.49)
Ha ha ha ha!
Jeremy Lesniak (36:09.345)
Hmm.
Jason Brick (36:30.019)
that your kid knows, knows them by sight. At my kid's elementary school, the procedure was, hey, who's this? How do you know them? Anytime an adult that the staff didn't know. And of course they had a list of the like four or five people. So you find four people, maybe five, who are allowed to pick your kid up from whatever. And if none of them can help, you just show up late.
You think about the places your kid might be where the situation is even a factor. Church, school, piano lessons, karate class. That adult in a true emergency is going to be understanding. That adult is somebody who you trust with your kids because you left them there already. And for many of those facilities in a real deal emergency, they're more comfortable and have better gear than you do with the house.
Jeremy Lesniak (37:13.452)
Right.
Jeremy Lesniak (37:22.784)
Eight. Yeah, yeah, these are. So this this is kind of the the family version of the, you know, the the violent lone wolf red dawn fantasy, right, that we imagine the scenario is this big, dramatic Hollywood thing.
Jason Brick (37:24.78)
So just turn up late.
Jason Brick (37:40.909)
Yeah.
Jeremy Lesniak (37:47.916)
And in this case, it comes from a really good place. I want to keep my kids safe. I'm trying to set them up with with tools and everything to understand. But, you know, the moment you said. Most of these places you're talking about are better set up to keep your kids safe in a true emergency. Then you are at home makes all kinds of sense.
Jason Brick (38:08.705)
Yeah, it's just one of those things where we overcomplicate things and be so desperate to apply a tactical solution to a grandma problem, right?
Jeremy Lesniak (38:19.598)
I like the way you're putting that, yeah, a tactical solution for a grandma problem. More to say on that one, or do we, I know you've got quite a few of these.
Jason Brick (38:24.663)
Yeah. So that's a... I know, that's pretty easy. That one's pretty easy. And it kind of slides into the next one, which I learned about before I started the podcast. I picked it up. Anybody who's read The Gift of Fear and Protecting the Gift by Gavin De Becker knows this one. But I was surprised by how many people don't know this and how many people resist it. And that is strange or dangerous bullshit. Absolutely.
Jeremy Lesniak (38:51.662)
Hmm.
Jason Brick (38:54.508)
Um, and we were told, don't talk to strangers. We've been talked stranger danger. It rhymes. So it must be true. Uh, but it's really, really bad. And it's really bad for a number of reasons. Uh, a lot of them centering around that it doesn't work. They've done study after study where at like within an hour of receiving, don't talk to strangers, uh, training kids were led off playgrounds by strangers. Uh, when asked, why did you let that happen? The answer is usually something along the lines of
He wasn't a stranger, he was nice. There was a study done where they asked kids to draw pictures of strangers. Many of them had horns. The picture painted doesn't account for the kind of stranger that might victimize a child. Also, it paints a really scary world. The overwhelming majority of humans are nice people and won't hurt kids.
Jeremy Lesniak (39:32.494)
Hmm
Jason Brick (39:49.053)
Why would we let our kid running around assuming people are like that?
Jeremy Lesniak (39:54.214)
And I don't know if this fits in or maybe I'm preempting one that you've got later down the line, but my understanding of the statistics on violence perpetrated against children is that it is overwhelmingly done by someone that they know that would not be classified as a stranger.
Jason Brick (39:56.139)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Jason Brick (40:07.987)
Yes, absolutely. that's the second most important reason that the people who are kids are people the kids know.
Jeremy Lesniak (40:14.446)
The work the effort comes from a good place, but it's focused on the right way instead of focusing on the who focus on the behavior. would imagine is where we need to shift.
Jason Brick (40:21.818)
Exactly. Exactly. And for me also the most important reason that stranger danger is BS is that it robs our kids of agency. If a child needs help, they have to talk to a stranger. And I say that because if there was someone around that they knew they wouldn't need help, they would be in the act of getting help.
Jeremy Lesniak (40:31.758)
Mm.
Jeremy Lesniak (40:44.554)
I was raised, find a police officer. I live in a very rural area. That is not, in fact, the town that I live in, other than the county sheriff, there is no law enforcement. I don't even think there's a constable here anymore. So.
Jason Brick (40:50.824)
Yeah. Yeah.
Jason Brick (40:58.183)
Yeah. Yeah. And that's the thing, right? That instead of teaching, don't talk to strangers. We want to talk, which strangers should you approach? Who should you ask for help? And as martial arts instructors, I would love, this is what I did when I ran my karate school for 10 years. There's a chant you can teach your younger ones, which is, I can't find my family, find someone else's family. A parent, an adult accompanied by children is statistically,
Jeremy Lesniak (41:23.086)
It's a good one.
Jason Brick (41:26.406)
the safest bet to approach for help because they're statistically not going to hurt anybody else's kids. And also most parents, for the parents in the audience, if a child came to you and said they couldn't find their people and needed help, you would stop it. Nothing short of endangering your own children to get that child back with their people. It would be your plan for the day. And so we teach our younger kids, if you can't find your family, find someone else's family.
Jeremy Lesniak (41:31.779)
Mm-hmm.
Jason Brick (41:55.791)
It's that simple. Exactly. And there's another piece of stranger danger that I think is hugely important that, you know, even those of us who have that, that in mind, we're teaching our younger kids. But when we send our daughter to college, we get them a kickboxing class and a rape whistle and some pepper spray, but we don't sit with them and talk to them about how to spot an abuser on a first date.
Jeremy Lesniak (41:55.896)
A lot easier to find than a police officer, too.
Jeremy Lesniak (42:05.39)
Hmm.
Jeremy Lesniak (42:20.878)
Mm-hmm.
Jason Brick (42:23.621)
Because again, for all age groups, the danger is almost never gonna come from somebody you don't.
Jeremy Lesniak (42:31.551)
I don't want to dig into these numbers, these situations. I think everybody knows where you're going, but what I will say is I've had enough conversations with friends in very open ways. They have confided things in me that I think the statistics on this subject are still. Even the, here's what's reported, here's what's extrapolated.
Jason Brick (42:55.171)
Yeah.
Jeremy Lesniak (42:58.626)
due to underreporting, I think the reality is even further.
Jason Brick (43:01.87)
Yes, yes, absolutely. And so that's, know, that, yeah, but that's where it is. And in some ways, know, martial arts is very fun. I've been doing it for a long time. I've had to apply it perhaps twice when I wasn't on the job, you know, on one job or another. But, you know, we're, we're kicking and punching, stabbing and shooting, but not also training in how to spot abusive people, how to draw boundaries and have them respected.
Jeremy Lesniak (43:05.838)
which breaks my heart.
Jason Brick (43:30.636)
And all that training is also hugely important for us to raise our kids with.
Jeremy Lesniak (43:36.07)
And I think this becomes an aspect that a martial arts school can start to fit into around the psychology of violence and noticing those kind of precursor behaviors. We talk about those precursor behaviors when it comes to imminent violent assault. But we can with with a relatively small amount of investment of time, the precursors of imminent.
Jason Brick (43:41.04)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Jason Brick (43:47.462)
Yeah.
Jeremy Lesniak (44:05.996)
psychological assault, right? Which is sort of this subject.
Jason Brick (44:12.438)
And even long term. For example, one piece of advice that I give to anybody who asks, and I'd encourage all of you to put it in your back pocket for when it's applicable. First date. Whenever it is, set a hard out that's a little earlier than reasonable. Say, you know, hey, I'd love to meet you for dinner at five, but I have to be out by 730. I have to be done at 730. And you see how they respond then, and then you see how they respond at 720.
because it will tell you a lot about whether that person will respect your boundaries. Yeah, exactly.
Jeremy Lesniak (44:45.878)
Hey, just to remind you, yeah, I've got to go in 10 minutes. And if they lose their stuff...
That can tell you a lot. Right.
Jason Brick (44:53.537)
That tells you something. Because on the first day people are on their best behavior. They will not respect your boundaries more on the second day than the third day. And it's just a little test question you can throw out there to keep yourself safe from people who might have been a stranger before you sat down, but aren't going to be strangers afterwards. There's a whole lot more you can do. This is a deep, deep rabbit hole. But the bottom line being, if we're still teaching don't talk to strangers, if we're still teaching a stranger danger,
Jeremy Lesniak (45:02.972)
That is a great point.
Jeremy Lesniak (45:12.43)
Mm-hmm. Sure.
Jason Brick (45:22.135)
pick up Protecting the Gift by Gavin De Becker as a starting point and dive deep, my friends.
Jeremy Lesniak (45:27.987)
It's a book that's been recommended many times on this show. OK. What's the next one?
Jason Brick (45:30.786)
Yeah. Okay, the next one is what I'll call a just wait till I get you home. And this was one that changed how I parent. it's one about, it's my oldest son who I have a great relationship with his in his 20s and he and I have similar senses of humor. We both refer to him as the rough draft because his youngest, his little brother was
Jeremy Lesniak (45:42.478)
I think I know where you're going with this. Keep going.
Jason Brick (45:59.81)
when I started learning this stuff. And I'm a much better parent than I was when I raised the oldest one. But this is the, yeah, right? Right? I still feel kind of bad, but fortunately, my oldest has forgiven me and it's all fine. So you get in trouble at school. You lost your temper, you yelled at a teacher, you're cussed her out. You and I are of a certain age, humans of a certain age, I think both of us...
Jeremy Lesniak (46:06.892)
You should be, you should get better as you go. Hopefully you do.
Jason Brick (46:27.426)
spent the ride home on the bus just in knots over what was gonna happen when dad came home. What was gonna happen when he had to tell mom in our family that it was, you're gonna need to tell grandpa this and see the look of disappointment on his face. And that's a very traditional way of parenting. But an alternative that I really liked that I struggled against for a while was
What if instead you come in that door expecting the haranguing and instead you just get a hug and say, you had a bad day. You made a big mistake and it sucks and you had a bad day. And you may have to say it out loud. Hopefully it's just understood that, but you came through this door, you're talking to me, you're safe. Now we're not gonna try to get you out of the consequences of what happened, but we're not gonna make your bad day worse.
We're gonna talk to you about what happened. We're gonna explore how to make it not happen next time. And we're gonna talk about how you are going to accept the consequences of your mistake with grace and with maturity. But I'm not gonna add a bunch of arbitrary, chest thumpy, extra mandatory bonus consequences to what the world is already doing to you. It's gonna be you and me taking care of business together.
Jeremy Lesniak (47:56.818)
This is reminding me of a couple things here. The first one is this statement that I've made that sometimes people will push back on, which is there is no situation made worse by applying compassion. It doesn't matter what it is to me, if you can find a way to be more compassionate, the situation doesn't get worse. Now, it might not get better, but it probably will. And when I I shift that over to a violent situation, we're talking about de-escalation.
Jason Brick (48:16.648)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Jeremy Lesniak (48:26.188)
Right? And so in, in the world of martial arts, you know, what's the equivalent of this? You screwed up fearing, you know, maybe verbal altercation.
someone trips and spills their drink on you or someone right because all of our examples always end up in the bar for whatever reason or you know the moment someone lays a hand on you you're you're free to go zero to sixty and and lay them out and you know everything short of murder
What if we can dial that back a little bit? What if we can meet that situation with maybe not literally a hug, but the recognition that clearly something has not gotten right in that person's day to get you to where you to get you, the two of you to that situation. Now I'm not at all suggesting that our self-defense skills are irrelevant and always turn the other cheek. I I'm, I have, I have my own lines and I draw them. It is very blank and light for me. And, you know, everyone needs to draw their
Jason Brick (49:01.437)
Yeah.
Jeremy Lesniak (49:29.282)
lines. But I think that there, I think a lot of us when we're in the fantasy, when we're in the overly simplistic role play in our training, I think we draw that line a lot more, a lot more readily than we need to in practice.
Jason Brick (49:49.925)
Yeah, and our trending does take a put take what's the word it has a role in that compassionate response If we train long enough, we walk a certain way. We move a certain way We make eye contact a certain way where somebody in a bar puts his hand on you like grabs you and just kind of look at him and say man You're gonna want to use that hand to
And our training positions, our body language, our proxemics, our tone of voice, the way we look at them in a way where they believe that.
Jason Brick (50:22.572)
And same thing with our kids, that if we can have our kids believe in that compassion, believe in that love, and come home trusting that we're gonna help them, we're gonna help them recover from that mistake, even if it's gonna hurt. Because we can't be the parent that marches up to the school and cusses the teacher out too. I mean, unless the teacher really had it coming. That goes up and tries to get our kids out of the consequences of their behavior because if we don't teach them that
behaviors have consequences and the world's going to teach them. They're to teach them a lot less jump away than we can. But like I said before, just helping them navigate those consequences rather than adding additional consequences because of some impulse that we had. And like I said, that was how I raised my oldest and half of my youngest until I was introduced to this better way of being. So.
Jeremy Lesniak (51:20.056)
Right. Right.
Jason Brick (51:20.581)
That's why I call it a myth. It was a big surprise to me when I was first introduced to the concept.
Jeremy Lesniak (51:25.856)
It makes a lot of sense. And of course, your willingness to be compassionate first is very akin to when you have enough training and you have the confidence, you show up in the world differently and you are automatically less likely to need your training. We've unpacked that in a few different ways on this show over the years.
Jason Brick (51:44.81)
Yeah, it's the big irony of martial arts training.
Jeremy Lesniak (51:53.366)
Okay, so we've gone through what's that three or four what else you got?
Jason Brick (51:54.318)
No.
think so. All right, so another kind of simple one is that we think poisoning happens from poisons. You know, we all remember Mr. Yuck, right? The Mr. Yuck sticker that was on all the cleaning products and all of that and a little sticker on the fridge with the phone number on it and all that. But kind of like the overwhelming majority of harm to our kids comes from people they know. The overwhelming majority of poisonings that bring a kid to the hospital or end a child.
Jeremy Lesniak (52:14.658)
Yep.
Jason Brick (52:26.873)
They're from medication. It's not from the bleach under the sink. It's from the, um, you know, it's from the oxy that you got after a surgery.
Jeremy Lesniak (52:35.912)
So it's the prescription stuff, because isn't the over-the-counter stuff also in this mix?
Jason Brick (52:41.002)
Yes, yes, and it depends on them, right? Like Tylenol, the LD50 on Tylenol is so close to the minimum effective dose that you gotta be really careful with. And I don't wanna, I don't wanna, you know, not just Tylenol, acetaminophen. Whereas you can take a whole lot of ibuprofen. I had a moment where my little one got away from me and I find him in the bathroom with ibuprofen all over the floor. And I talked to the...
you know, to the poison control. And they told me that, so there's a hundred, a hundred ibuprofen of a hundred milligrams each in there. He would have had to take the whole thing before it be a medical emergency. He might have a tummy ache. So, and don't quote me because that person might've been wrong, but the point is our over the counter medications, our prescription medications, we need to keep up high and lock up when our kids are young. And we need to be really alert for the danger zones. For example, if we are recovering from surgery,
Jeremy Lesniak (53:14.989)
wow.
Jason Brick (53:34.322)
And we're kind of on the downswing from that dose of oxy. Maybe we should have another adult responsible for where that oxy is as that swings up. If we're taking Nyquil to just try to go to bed or Dayquil to try to get ready for work in the morning, it's really easy to leave that on the counter when we run off to do things. Yeah.
Jeremy Lesniak (53:42.636)
Hmm
Jeremy Lesniak (53:57.398)
I will push back on your example of NyQuil because nobody wants to take that. It's the most disgusting thing, right? I was thinking of Dymatap, which, you know, pretty much that's the alcohol. Right?
Jason Brick (54:02.303)
No, that's true. It's, yeah. It's the, yeah, it's the juice. Another example is the, when grandma and grandma come to visit, they have one of those really cool little calendar boxes that is not locked. And it's just there in their suitcase. And it looks like candy. And so just, yeah.
Jeremy Lesniak (54:21.09)
Right, there's a lot of pills in there.
It does. Some of them have a coding.
Jason Brick (54:28.904)
And so being aware that, we don't want our kids to get poisoned, but being aware of what actually poisons kids. lot of these myths boil down to, we're looking in the wrong direction with vigilance. And so there's that. And then as our kids get older, you know, we need to start, if we have prescription medications, it can also be taken recreationally. If they have prescription medications, it can also be taken recreationally. We need to start.
paying attention to that. One friend of mine who came on the show as a police officer pointed out how often teenagers steal their parents' prescription medications because it's easy way to either get drugs or money from selling those drugs.
Jeremy Lesniak (55:09.038)
And we have and I, you know, obviously there have been a lot of lawsuits around around opiates, but I think it's important that we remember there is still even here in twenty twenty five that if you watch media, movies and television, there is still a different classification for the recreational use of prescription medications in the way storylines are are done. You know, we're getting more accurate ones, but there are plenty of times when someone will say.
Jason Brick (55:13.846)
Hmm. Yeah.
Jeremy Lesniak (55:37.278)
did they prescribe you anything fun after your surgery? Like that reads a little different than, know, hey, do you have any crack? Like, children as they're getting old enough to make their decisions, they're seeing some of this media in a lot of cases.
Jason Brick (55:46.654)
Yeah, but it's the same.
Jason Brick (55:56.733)
Yeah. And then, and the other piece on that is drug interactions. drugs.com is a really good one. If you have a friend who's a pharmacist, it's always good anytime a new medication enters your life or your child's life to just make sure that that medication plus something you're already on or something that you usually have around the house isn't just a recipe for disaster. The same officer that I talked to about who did a lot of traffic enforcement in a fairly affluent neighborhood. And the number of times he
Jeremy Lesniak (56:00.268)
Mmm. Mmm.
Jason Brick (56:26.163)
pulled somebody over for just absolutely not being good to drive, but hadn't had anything to drink or just like a glass of wine with lunch, but was on some medication that mixed with alcohol or some other substance and just absolutely impaired them. And so, and if you apply that to an inexperienced driver or a teen driver, it's even worse. So yeah, just in general, those, the poisons that actually poison us are very different from the poisons that we kind of think of when we think about poisoning.
Jeremy Lesniak (56:38.958)
Yeah.
Jeremy Lesniak (56:56.206)
And I think, you know, as, as, as the martial arts industry spends more and more time kind of broadening the definition of self-defense and appropriate training, especially on the youth side, think these subjects become more and more important. Even if you're not going to have focused curriculum on them to at least have an understanding of them, because whether you do mat chats in your school with your kids or whether it impacts scenario training.
Jason Brick (57:04.787)
Yeah.
Jeremy Lesniak (57:25.154)
that you may be doing it at the very least, a better understanding is going to adjust your language choice. Right. When we talk about self-defense for kids, it quite often, a lot of the drills end with and run to a safe person. Right. What's a safe person. Right. So having some understanding of, what makes sense in these contexts, I think is really important. Jason, that was like five of them. I know you have four.
Jason Brick (57:33.842)
Yeah.
Jeremy Lesniak (57:55.028)
Didn't some of these come from a book or something? Like, isn't that weird?
Jason Brick (57:58.642)
Well, they kind of went into the book. the show, you know, the show I've interviewed over a hundred experts from, like I said, all over the place. Safes Family on the Block podcast. Although it's a YouTube channel, which I've been told is different from a podcast, but it's a show where I interview people. Yeah, that's what I keep doing, but people make fun of me. The big kids pick on me in the locker room when I call it a podcast.
Jeremy Lesniak (58:06.092)
And this is the safest family on the block podcast.
Jeremy Lesniak (58:16.45)
I'm gonna call it.
Jeremy Lesniak (58:22.306)
Well, it just.
Jason Brick (58:24.624)
But yeah, so after these interviews, there's a book worth of information, which I've written and is coming out through YMAA Publishing on May 8th, 2025. And it's got 101 different, you know, the cover copy is 101 tips, tricks, habits, and hacks. Just 101 things I learned that I felt the need to share. And you were talking earlier about how if you...
Jeremy Lesniak (58:30.541)
Hmm.
Jason Brick (58:51.947)
running a martial arts school, have a curriculum, let these things bleed into it. Each and every one of those could make a nice little match chat or just, you know, do like a Saturday safety social media post. Steal the information, throw it out in the world, however it's most appropriate for your school because my family is safer because I learned these things and I hope other people can learn those things as well.
Jeremy Lesniak (58:58.286)
Hmm.
Jeremy Lesniak (59:13.208)
Yeah. you know, anybody who's not familiar with you and what you do may not be aware that this is your thing. This is your shtick, right? You've come on, you've done a presentation for Whistlekick Alliance. If you go back to the two episodes that we've done on this show, you check out Safest Family on the Block. All your whole approach is about making the family unit safer. And I've learned a considerable amount from you.
Jason Brick (59:22.34)
Yeah.
Jeremy Lesniak (59:41.802)
I remember the first time I trained with you was the first free training day Pacific Northwest. And you had an absolutely brilliant approach. it's rare I get stuff that makes the wheels turn for me for years later. I was just thinking about this. This was this. This was this. This posture here. Yeah.
Jason Brick (59:58.543)
yeah, I stole one of your drills to add to it moving forward, by the way, your gauntlet drill. Yeah, I include your gauntlet drill because it's one of the points. This presentation was on de-escalation. And there's a section where we talk about de-escalating ourselves. And your gauntlet drill is a really good way of illustrating how quickly we can get escalated, even in their perfectly safe circumstances.
Jeremy Lesniak (01:00:06.04)
Please do. Right.
Jeremy Lesniak (01:00:29.42)
So we won't belabor those two drills or anything there. But you said the book's on YMA and we've had a number of past authors from that publisher on and what's the founding gentleman's name? He's been on the show.
Jason Brick (01:00:29.71)
Yeah Yeah Yeah
Jason Brick (01:00:45.154)
David?
Jeremy Lesniak (01:00:46.904)
No.
Jason Brick (01:00:48.459)
So David's in charge now. Gene Ching is involved in it as well, of course.
Jeremy Lesniak (01:00:50.26)
Yeah, but the yeah, no, there's a it's a hyphenated name is gentlemen from China
I'm absolutely embarrassed or maybe he's not the founder, but he's put out a number of books on there and please excuse my failing memory on the subject. It's been a rough day. We do, we do. We'll just chalk it up to that. Is the book available now or are we in not yet?
Jason Brick (01:01:11.053)
We get hit in the head a lot. It is available for pre-order right now. Comes out on May 8th. Amazon.com, BarnesNobel.com, Bookshop.com is my new favorite. It's an Amazon alternative where you create an account, you name a local bookstore that you like.
Jeremy Lesniak (01:01:21.122)
Okay, so whenever this comes out, can make it happen. Where would they go to do that?
Jason Brick (01:01:38.797)
and you order it from them, it delivers like it's Amazon, but that local bookstore gets paid like you bought it there.
Jeremy Lesniak (01:01:46.242)
Cool. it's, it's okay. It's drop shipping for the bookstore and then a bookstore doesn't have to do anything. That's brilliant. I love it. I love it.
Jason Brick (01:01:55.318)
Correct. Bookshop.org. And you pay a couple bucks more than you do at Amazon, but it's worth a couple bucks to me to, yeah, exactly. And then you can find me over on Facebook, just look for Jason Brick. There's a lot of us. There's a few Jason Bricks out there, but I'm the only one who consistently, salesfamilyontheblock.org, but I'm not nearly as active there. If you want to find me, ask me questions, tell me jokes, find me on Facebook.
Jeremy Lesniak (01:02:04.216)
People have choices is what I'm
Jeremy Lesniak (01:02:15.16)
Don't you have a website?
Jeremy Lesniak (01:02:22.017)
Sure.
Jason Brick (01:02:24.683)
And yeah, I'm the only Jason Brick who talks about heavy metal martial arts and tabletop role-playing games pretty much daily.
Jeremy Lesniak (01:02:31.982)
That's quite the amalgamation of human interests, probably why we're friends.
Jason Brick (01:02:32.107)
Yeah. Now you're a nerd of a certain age. You're a nerd of a certain age. You'll appreciate that one day I got a Facebook message from another Jason Brick with a picture of the Kurgan from Highlander. Just said, there can be only one. Yeah.
Jeremy Lesniak (01:02:53.966)
I have had engagements with another Jeremy Lesniak out there and let this be your sign that if you have not tried to reach out to befriend others out in the world that have your name, you should do that because there's nothing better than starting a message or an email with, I'm reaching out because we have the same name. With no other agenda. I know this sounds like spam or scam and it's not.
Jason Brick (01:02:58.667)
Hmm.
Jason Brick (01:03:05.515)
Hmm.
Yeah.
Jason Brick (01:03:15.615)
Yeah.
Thanks
Jeremy Lesniak (01:03:23.918)
You should do it. It'll be fun. Jason, I appreciate you coming back on the show. I'm sure we'll have you back again at some point. Thank you for continuing to, you know, hold this knowledge together. It's something that I think is is really important to those of you out there who purport yourselves or your schools to be about family safety. I think at the very least, you have to take a look at the work that Jason is doing. I continue to learn from him. I think you should at least consider.
Jason Brick (01:03:24.263)
Yeah, there it is.
Jeremy Lesniak (01:03:54.344)
Doing so if you want to check out this episode and the links we're gonna have all this stuff linked whistlekick martial arts radio.com You can check out the show notes. We go far deeper. There's transcripts You know whether you're on YouTube or Spotify, which we're getting videos up there now Or any of the other platforms we don't we can't put quite as much on there as we can at the website and of course whistlekick.com For everything else that we do make sure you sign up for the email list. It's the
best way to get all the best stuff about the best martial arts podcast that's out there. Jason, I appreciate you being here and I'm sure we'll talk again soon and to the rest of you out there in the audience. Thank you.
Jason Brick (01:04:34.556)
Thank you, Jeremy. Thank you, everybody. Stay safe.