Episode 1158 - Rex Thompson
In this episode Jeremy chats with Rex Thompson about his training in BJJ, helping at risk youth, and the psychological aspects of being a fighter.
CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains profanity and discussions of childhood abuse, sexual abuse, violence, addiction, suicide, and grooming.
Rex Thompson - Episode 1158
SUMMARY
In this engaging conversation, Rex Thompson and Jeremy Lesniak explore the multifaceted journey of martial arts, touching on personal experiences, the transition from traditional martial arts to Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and the complex relationship with violence. Rex shares insights from his life, including his time in a motorcycle gang and the impact of childhood trauma on his understanding of martial arts. The discussion emphasizes the importance of self-defense, the nuances of martial arts culture, and the personal growth that comes from these experiences.
In this conversation, Rex Thompson shares his transformative journey through martial arts, detailing how his past experiences shaped his current mission to empower at-risk youth through mentorship. He discusses the importance of self-defense, the role of ego in martial arts, and the need for a supportive community. Rex emphasizes the significance of understanding gender dynamics in martial arts training and addresses the critical issue of grooming and power dynamics within the martial arts community. His insights reflect a deep commitment to fostering a positive and inclusive environment for all practitioners. He also discusses the evolution of martial arts, the importance of traditional practices, and the psychological aspects of being a fighter. He emphasizes the need for accountability, personal growth, and the impact of parenting on children's behavior. Rex also shares his vision for building a community focused on resilience and self-defense, particularly for youth, highlighting the importance of empowering the next generation to protect themselves.
TAKEAWAYS
Rex shares his journey from traditional martial arts to Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
He discusses the challenges of finding support in Vermont for his martial arts endeavors.
Rex reflects on the ego issues prevalent in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
He emphasizes the difference between violence and martial arts.
Rex's experiences in a motorcycle gang shaped his understanding of violence.
He acknowledges the impact of childhood trauma on his life and martial arts perspective.
Rex highlights the importance of self-defense in martial arts training.
He recalls the myth of the 'magic pill' associated with black belts.
Rex's past experiences of violence shaped his current perspective.
He no longer regrets his past, viewing it as essential to his growth.
Becoming a black belt transformed Rex's approach to martial arts.
He emphasizes the importance of self-defense over competition.
Rex advocates for teaching kids about red flags in gyms.
He believes martial arts should be a way of life, not just fighting.
Rex aims to empower youth to avoid negative paths in life.
He stresses the importance of understanding gender dynamics in martial arts.
Rex addresses the issue of grooming in martial arts schools.
He believes Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu can give women a voice.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Introduction
03:57 Transitioning from Traditional to Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu
08:56 Understanding Violence and Martial Arts
12:08 Life Experiences and Their Impact on Martial Arts Perspective
16:22 From Pain to Purpose
18:15 The Transformation of a Black Belt
21:40 Redefining Self-Defense
27:45 Understanding Violence and Self-Defense
33:20 Empowering the Next Generation
39:01 Gender Dynamics in Martial Arts
45:13 Addressing Grooming and Power Dynamics
49:55 Evolution of Donnybrooke Fight Promotions
52:32 The Shift Towards Traditional Martial Arts
53:01 The Psychology of Fighters
56:18 Breaking the Cycle of Violence
59:35 Accountability and Personal Growth
01:07:03 Empowering the Next Generation
01:10:53 Building a Community for Resilience
To connect with Rex Thompson:
Resilientdefenseinstitute.org
DonnyBrookefightpromotions.com
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Show Transcript
Jeremy (11:11.002)
Hey, what's going on everybody? Welcome back to another episode of Whistlekick, martial arts radio, world's top ranked traditional martial arts podcast. I'm Jeremy Lesniak joined by my friend, longtime Whistlekick supporter. And it's kind of crazy it's been this long to have you on, Rex Thompson. I've been looking forward to this one. This guy's got stories, you guys. I've only heard some of them and we're gonna get some others today, Rex. I'll have you kick us off in just a moment. But for those of you out there,
If you're new to what we do, what do we do here at Whistlekick? We connect, educate and entertain. Why do we do that? Because we believe traditional martial arts makes people better. We believe even six months of training has lifelong benefits. If you wanna see all the things that we do at Whistlekick, go to whistlekick.com. And of course, if you wanna go deeper on this or any of the other episodes we've done, whistlekickmarshallartsradio.com is the place to go for all the transcripts, links, photos.
All the stuff, anything that Rex and I talk about today, or if you wanna dig back and say, wait, what did he say? I heard him say it, but I wanna read it through. We do transcripts. You can find all that under the episode listing for this episode at whistlekickmarshallarchradio.com. And without further ado, Rex, thanks for being here, Of course, of course. I'm trying to remember the last time you and I were in the same room, which is crazy, because we live like not even 30 minutes apart.
Rex Thompson (12:27.925)
Hey, thanks for having me, my man. It's been a while.
Rex Thompson (12:39.219)
Yeah. I think that I I I think that our journeys kinda went their own. You stayed the more traditional and I moved on from traditional and tried some other things.
Jeremy (12:39.937)
and
Jeremy (12:51.846)
And I don't think it's just that. think that, and it's ironic, because I'm gonna make this statement because you're the one on the show. Vermont was not super supportive to what I was trying to do when I started doing it.
Rex Thompson (13:08.648)
Vermont's a weird place. It really it's hard to explain how to get support or even like for me, my my own personality, I have like I rub people the wrong way. And I know this. I absolutely know this. This is this is why I was blessed with doing traditional martial arts and then going into Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Brazilian jujitsu.
I I think that the way that works, they miss out on the on a lot of the ego crushing humbleness. Okay. So as a blue belt, and I'm sure you saw it, I trolled everybody. I was like, I am a blue belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. I can basically beat up 99% of the people in the world. And that was that's your goal. Ask any blue belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, they all tell you the same thing Jonas Hill.
Jeremy (14:04.902)
Cool.
Rex Thompson (14:06.95)
He's a prime example. So, but what I learned along the way is the Bushido way. Because I also study Japanese jujitsu. I do, I have a black belt in Japanese jujitsu also. So coming from traditional martial arts, like Brazilian jiu-jitsu came about because they would.
Someone some dojo across the way would be like I my instructor's the baddest dude. So all of these Brazilians would go down and they beat up all of their students and that and and stuff. That's kind of like that's kind of like the bully thing of BJJ. There's a there's huge ego problems in BJJ. there's ego problems in everything. You know, there's little nuances for so for me, the traditional arts, what what
Bothered me the most was it was almost too humble. Like I came from street fighting, I came from actual fighting. What if it didn't work for me and I didn't think that I could protect myself, I was not taking martial arts to learn how to live a certain way. I was taking martial arts strictly for self-defense, fighting, and self-offense, not even self-defense, but self-offense. So
It's a different mindset when you do that. So when I did a lot of traditional arts, there's a lot of what do you call them? Not traditions, but
Jeremy (15:47.258)
with customs.
Rex Thompson (15:48.452)
Customs. Yes. Yes. Yes. You're you you're the the the same thing like when you go to a BJJ Gee, you BJJ gym, you make sure you're wearing a white gi, you don't have anybody else's stuff. There's the the little the little customs and stuff like that. Like
I was always under the impression, the myth of I can remember training and I was so excited to get to Taekwondo because I had never done a striking art. I had never done a kicking art. And it was something I always wanted to do because I wrestled.
Jeremy (16:17.227)
And that's where, for folks out there, that's where we met. We met in time. You were training under a good friend of mine.
Rex Thompson (16:21.006)
Yes, absolutely.
Master Rota and Joel Lenahan. It was actually Joe Lenahan. I actually I just
Jeremy (16:30.246)
Yeah, that's who I met. Joe Linehan's been on the show. I don't remember the episode number. It goes way back. Keep talking and I'll grab that episode number.
Rex Thompson (16:35.819)
I love Joe. I see him every once in a while.
We I I see him every once in a while. We talk just such a great, great guy. It really is. So that so what I saw nice. Holy moly. Wow. that's awesome. Yeah. so I grew up, I did judo. My father was a black belt and judo.
Jeremy (16:50.096)
12th, episode 12.
That's how far back that goes. That's how far back you and I go. yeah, please keep going.
Rex Thompson (17:08.022)
I did judo as a kid. I wrestled as a kid. I had a lot of grappling experience. as you know, they they brought in Daniel Hartz, we did some local Akita Kai, a little bit of that stuff there. That was that was fun, it was okay. I was waiting for that magic pill. Like, I think everybody assumes when you do martial arts and they strap that black belt around your belt, that's the magic pill. Like.
Jeremy (17:27.59)
you
Rex Thompson (17:38.306)
There's there's some sort of moves. You know something now that you were undefeatable. Yeah. And so there was that myth right there. I found that the downfall of the traditional arts because it now had to do with my mindset. I ended up
Switching out of Taekwondo, I took my I don't remember what happened. I don't know if Joe was getting done. I can't remember everything that was going down. I think Nish was maybe taking over. Joe was getting done. I brought my kids over to do Brazilian jujitsu, but what changed my mind with Brazilian jujitsu was I had an attitude. I had a really, really bad attitude. I was a big guy. I was an alcoholic, and I was pretty good at Taekwondo.
I really felt like I sparred all the time. I really felt like a normal person on the street. I didn't, I wasn't scared of people. So I was very, very cocky, very kind of ego, but I still had the humbleness when I came around other. I still showed respect to Nish. I showed respect to Joe, Master Rhoda. There was always that respect. You always had that, but I never found that magic pill. So I was doing, they asked me to be a judge for the fights.
And so I did I started judging in the with a little referee who was like 145 pounds, little skinny guy. And I used to troll him and I would harass the fighters because they were young and most of them weren't really trained fighters. They were just guys that were in the back, you know, in their backyards fighting. And and I remember like one of my favorite fighters was Bruce Richards. And I used to tell Bruce, I was like, Bruce, you have like 50 amateur fights. You know you could go to a gym and learn how to fight. You don't have to do it this way. So
He invited me into the gym and I dug out my old judo gee. And I think I was like 245 pounds at that point. I was really drinking pretty heavy. and I went in there and this little 145-pound guy worked me over. I've done a lot of martial arts in my life, and I have never had somebody smaller than me manhandle me like that. And that bothered me.
Jeremy (19:49.318)
And I think there's a piece, and I'm sure you're going to dig into this, but I want to make sure that we say something about this because there's a mindset here that I know you have that you haven't talked about. And that has to do with you. You hinted at it, you know, fighting on the street.
You spent significant time in a motorcycle club.
Rex Thompson (20:12.242)
I was a leader of a motorcycle gang. I spent time with special
Jeremy (20:15.342)
Yeah, you're using that word. I didn't use that word. And I think that I think that's important. There are different kinds of motorcycle clubs.
Rex Thompson (20:23.664)
No, I was in a 1% outlaw motorcycle club. I earned my diamond. I yeah, it wasn't I I it at the time it was it was cool. I I felt like a rock star here in the Northeast and stuff, but look back, it's just it's not one of my proudest moments. I was actually really embarrassed to see friends that I knew from my past and stuff like that when I was in full colors.
Jeremy (20:46.886)
Sure, and the only reason I think that is relevant, because I'm not passing any judgment in any way, you have a different understanding and relationship with violence than most people do. I would say a dramatically different, I'm gonna call it a comfort with violence.
Rex Thompson (21:00.659)
Yes.
Rex Thompson (21:09.267)
Yes. Yes, I have a super calming like if if we're about to get into a fight, I am not that guy that starts jumping up and down and screaming and start I I get super calm. I let you do all the jumping around and I get in.
Jeremy (21:11.142)
Thank
Rex Thompson (21:26.192)
It's hard to I I've grown up violent my entire life. I was beaten as a child. I have so much childhood trauma. so I've grown up having to fight. I mean, I can remember 12 years old having to fist fight my father. So this is like real vi there's there's now, and this is where I make the difference between violence and martial arts. Violence is a
Someone tries to run you over a car, beat you with a baseball bat. It's a coward. That is not martial arts. That is definitely not martial arts. I've lived a violent life. I lived in Central America. I spent the early 90s chasing Pablo Escobar. that was the first time that I met MS-13 in real life in El Salvador. fighting was like I've been shot at. So fighting.
really never scared me being beat by my father, being beat by grown men. So that brings me forward to where I'm at now. I I had to go through all of this to become the person that I am now. I had to go from being beat up, I had to go from being an alcoholic, I had to be a piece of shit to people that nobody liked. I had to go through all that stuff. There was a purpose and
I don't regret any of it anymore. I don't. I used to have huge regret. And at this point, I I don't. From my own mind and now with the not my nonprofit that I have with the working with at-risk teens mentorship through martial arts, I've really, since becoming a black belt, I've really
searched really hard for the Boshida way. I no longer I used to go to schools to critique the teacher, to find out what they were doing wrong and point it out. Like what a dick fucking move. I'm sorry. What a dick move that is. It's just re it really is. But it's a it's a s it you know when I shit on traditional arts
Jeremy (23:32.164)
You can say whatever you want. You can drop all the F-bombs you want. We're just gonna label it expensive.
Rex Thompson (23:44.477)
coming up through jujitsu. I I for me, I felt like the it in and I'm not saying all Brazilian jujitsu. I'm saying the the place I was at I feel was a toxic place and fed that type of energy to shit on traditional artists whether it was Freddie Lapan, whether it you know, whether it was Taekwondo. We used to, you know, that was always the running joke Taekwondo, right up until I hit you with a spinning back kick. Then Taekwondo is not a joke anymore, is it?
So I I watched that. I I I learned something from I learned so much from the traditional arts and I learned I've learned more as a black belt than as far as living as a person and being a good person, I've learned more as a black belt than I did the entire time coming up through in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. I felt like coming up through Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
Your ego is fed. It's like feeding a fire. 100%. Now you just went out and you won a tournament or something, and and you get all of the memes are on there. They're like, only less than 1% of the people are black belts of Brazilian jujitsu. It's and and nobody can beat you up. It's just it's a wild, wild ride. But if you've ever seen real violence.
Everything works. If you're a trained person on the street against an untrained person, it's gonna work. It's not so much it's gonna work. You've been you put yourself in bad situations inside of a gym and had to learn with about adversity. Someone on the street, that's why they're and that's why they're jumping up and down. They're scared. They don't know they they want to intimidate you. They're they're like that big bear. Like, get away from me. If you leave me alone, get away from me. This fight probably isn't gonna start. So
I once I became a black belt, I feel like I started to learn Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. I was able to sit in a class. I don't care who's teaching the class. I don't care if it was an Aikido class. I don't care if it was a Tai Chi class. I sit in that class now. I keep my mouth shut and I see what I can learn, what I can take from that for my own.
Rex Thompson (26:06.333)
Self-defense, what I could how I can make that work in my my style, my system. the critiques are gone. Once the critiques are gone.
Jeremy (26:14.183)
What do you credit that change to? Because that's pretty dramatic. So was this, was this, was somehow putting that belt around your waist, was that a moment? Was that a magic moment? Or did something else happen that made you? Hmm.
Rex Thompson (26:30.411)
Was a horrible moment in my life, actually. I was in a toxic gym. I was they flew a guy up here to put the belt on I'd never met before. so he had to approve the belt affiliation. It's part of the affiliation. the guy I was with wasn't a high enough black belt to promote me. You had to be a third degree black belt. So this guy flew up. I wasn't allowed to speak, I didn't have family there except for my wife.
Jeremy (26:42.522)
because he was part of your lineage? Okay.
Rex Thompson (26:59.072)
So was pr it was really a traumatic kind of event for me to get that. And it made me realize that's I stepped away from that gym. And I was like, I never, I it started opening my eyes when you take the rose colored glasses off. And you're like, I never want to make somebody feel that way in my life. So instead of I'm trying to change my mindset because I was angry all the time. Just
Super angry. Why me? Why does bad shit happen to me? And I've and what I've first it started with my black belt. I left that gym. I took that black belt and I started to learn. I was like, everything came to me. It was like, wow. Like I had never learned Brazilian jujitsu a day in my life before that until I got that. I I felt like there was no more pressure. Everybody, I don't give a shit what you say. Everybody's chasing a belt. Every person's chasing a
Gosh dang bell and a BJJ gym. Say it. You say you're not, but you are. We all know it. And we all, you know, and then it's so hard to explain, but that I was so sick of being angry. I was so sick of
It it wasn't a positive thing that I was doing. And it was it it was affecting every part of my life, to include my relationships. People are like, who the fuck are you? You are such an egotistical prick. I was like, but I do Brazilian jujitsu, so you can't say nothing. Shut up. Leave me alone.
Jeremy (28:16.614)
Hmm.
Rex Thompson (28:35.44)
It's a wild, wild ride. I but I do feel blessed that I was able to come up through the traditional martial arts so I could see that humbleness. Like you should be humble as a black belt. You just you should. I don't someone bigger is gonna come along. They always do So
Jeremy (28:57.286)
There's always someone bigger. There's always someone bigger and better.
Rex Thompson (29:05.447)
The biggest thing with Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu judo is it's a super hard sport. It's incredibly hard on your body. And I think too many coaches use that ego to keep you there. Instead of using positive methods to keep you there, I think that's the biggest difference. Like,
You're almost shamed into staying there. Like, what are you gonna do? You're gonna leave here and go to Taekwondo and get beat up by everybody? No, I'm gonna go somewhere and I'm gonna go surround myself with like-minded people because this is a hard sport. All of these are hard sports. And if you and it, you work all day long. Let's let's be real. There's very few people that have the urge to be a fighter. Most people want to learn self-defense. They want a little bit of exercise after a hard day's work, after taking care of the kids, after all of that.
Jeremy (29:29.744)
Thank you.
Rex Thompson (29:59.098)
So then you're gonna go to a place where everybody's an asshole. Is that gonna make you stay there? Like you you want somebody to shame you into staying there? Tell you this is the best. You have to stay here. If you go anywhere else, you're a loser.
No, no, I encourage. I so that's another thing going back to resilient defense is we teach the kids red flags of gyms. Like I don't care where you go. I want to show you doors, I want to open doors and show you different paths versus the only path that Barry City offers, and that's an opioid crisis.
Jeremy (30:40.806)
Hmm.
Rex Thompson (30:41.02)
You know, we can offer opioids. That's that's super easy. It's on every street. Matter of fact, when we open up our when we open up our one of our training facilities, it's on Brooklyn Street. We open up the garage door and we tell the kids that's the portal to your future life. You can watch the active addicts walking past the street. So I have taken seven kids and I've opened doors and showed them so many different paths. And I don't care that they stay and train with me.
care that they do something other than becoming a shit another shitty person in our community. That's that's really what I've my goal and purpose is now. I never really saw it.
Jeremy (31:25.062)
Keep going.
Rex Thompson (31:25.144)
I never saw and I chased that purpose. Like I'm older. I when you're doing Brazilian jujitsu, it's it everything's a competition. I I had to compete to get belts. I had to break my body. I was training partnership people. I'm 50 years old, man. I'm not a competitor anymore. It does not have to be that way, but that is the way that most gyms are run like that.
Jeremy (31:40.794)
Does it have to be that way?
Jeremy (31:46.834)
Because you've got more experience in that world than I do. I have some. I did a smidge. I'm not going to misrepresent it. A very small, medium-sized A around here. Yeah.
Rex Thompson (31:52.889)
Mm-hmm.
Rex Thompson (31:59.737)
Okay, if if I'm being very real, when it comes to self-defense, if you're training self-defense, you don't need a lot of Brazilian jujitsu. You need to learn how if you get knocked down, somebody can't pin you to the ground, you can get up and start either throwing strikes or get away. That's what you need to know. The rest of the stuff is for competition jujitsu. That's to go against other guys that know jujitsu. Really, it is. But if you have a good sprawl and you have pin escapes, you
Jeremy (32:20.666)
Yeah, I'm ready.
Rex Thompson (32:28.032)
Understand your wedges. If you can get to basically a blue belt, you'll be fine. I and I'm sorry, that probably just hurt a lot of Brazilian jiu-jitsu guys' feelings, but I'm a self-defense guy. I do not teach a half guard where somebody can touch your face. That's not realistic to me. If he could touch your face, then that's not self defense. I think for Brazilian jujitsu, for a female, I believe you should go all the way up through to purple belt, at least purple belt.
Jeremy (32:38.47)
Thanks
Rex Thompson (32:57.036)
And the reason I say that is men, you already have strength. If if you don't have the if you don't have the technique, you can always sometimes with strength. You have physical ability to do that. Females don't. Females need to have a deep understanding of their wedges, their pen escapes, all of that stuff. The other thing that I recommend with women when they train is to train on a crash pad because your sweeps do not work the same on a crash pad or on a bed as they would on the street.
So that's my feeling. I'm I'm I I like striking. I do Muay Thai. I've really gotten into Muay Thai striking with Crew Ballard up at United Fighting Arts. I love Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. I love rolling around because it's something you can go at 100%. I can't go 100%. If I go 100% at Muay Thai, I am 54 years old. Sure. I can go 100%, but that 20-year-old kid's gonna go 100% right back at me, and I'm gonna be picking my teeth up off the mat.
Brazilian jujitsu, you could go 100%. At any point I could tap. So striking's a bit different. I enjoy every aspect of the fight. I don't believe any one art by itself is the king. Honestly, I don't. We know I love this saying. And this is a it's a messed up saying because it comes from police stats in LA. It's not a real statistics, but the Gracie say it all the time.
80% of all fights end up on the ground. Okay. Very, very fair. Okay. I think it's a skewed stat. I think about, I think the real stats around 50-60% is what it is. But what stat I know is true is 100% of them start standing up.
Okay, so why wouldn't you want to have a good combination? A little bit of boxing, some kicks, those. So every single thing that you do on the ground, you do standing up. I cut angles on the ground. I cut angles standing up. I have to put frames out. I have to put frames out. Whether I'm on the ground, a judo throw, standing up is a throw. On the ground, it's a sweep. Fighting is fighting, is fighting. It's your angles, it's your pressure.
Rex Thompson (35:19.422)
I mean, is it is that any different in a in a striking match versus a grappling match? I want to pressure you to quit, don't I? If I'm fighting you, I'm gonna pressure you to quit. If I'm fighting you, I'm gonna have to slip off an angle so I don't stand directly in front of you. Same thing in Brazilian jujitsu, in order for your submission to work, you have to cut an angle. If you are sitting face to face square on somebody, they can punch you in the face. Is that self-defense? No. Nope, that's not.
So I am a heavy, heavy self-defense guy. And that's where Japanese, old school Japanese jujitsu comes in. People laugh at Japanese jujitsu and they're like, that's not real. That doesn't work. It worked in hand-to-hand combat for like 1,500 years. They actually killed people with it. I mean, I guess. No. The problem is, is people are not using it for its right purpose. They're trying to use it for a purpose it wasn't meant for. Japanese jiu-jitsu was meant.
For a samurai that fell off his source, his horse, and no longer had a weapon and had to fight a man that was in full body armor. You gotta punch a guy with a with a helmet on? No. Joint locks, throws, kicks. Your Japanese jujitsu is not for control. It's pain, compliance. You can only control them for so long. When I attack your shoulder in a Kimora in Brazilian jujitsu, it's for control. I'm attacking your shoulder.
It I reach right over, I'm gonna hold on. At any point, I can break, I can break it. Japanese jujitsu, absolutely not. It's goes right to the wrist, your wrist grip. I want a wrist grip. I want to start your twist so that when I bring that Kamora up, I'm spiral breaking your arm from your wrist. Your shoulder is like the the end of it. Like there. Now what I've done is I've taken that person out of the fight. They can no longer come back in and start fighting some more.
That's the point of Japanese jujitsu. How can you use that in real life without being thrown in jail? You can't. It has to be a very serious self-defense. You can't use it to control people. So worst thing you can do. I can use Brazilian jiu-jitsu to smother a big man. I can sit on top of him. I give him a little mother's milk. I can, and I can control a person. If I'm in a life and death fight, that it's no longer about control.
Jeremy (37:25.338)
Well, why were we
Rex Thompson (37:45.37)
It's about me getting away and surviving a fight. And I I think a lot of people misinterpret self-defense. Self-defense is defense, not offense. I'm trying to get away. I'm trying to survive. You're only I'm not trying to win a fight here out on the street. I am not trying to prove to this big guy that I'm better than him right now. If I'm in a self-defense situation where I have to use Japanese jujitsu.
It's because it's a life or death situation. I'm trying to get away. I'm not staying in that situation. Self-defense includes de-escalation, awareness of your surroundings. How do you know if somebody's a bad guy? Like, women are the worst for this. My wife will talk to every stranger in the middle of the night in a dark alley. But he said he needed something. So
Jeremy (38:41.284)
He seemed like a nice guy.
Rex Thompson (38:43.372)
100%. Every female falls for that. And they because they they feel like they can't say no. that's my biggest thing teaching kids, teaching women. Use your voice, say no. And that big misconception, you know, I had a lot of people, I want to come in for self-defense. They think that they're gonna learn to be a ninja, they're gonna be breaking bones and doing all this, and then they find out that it's a frame, it's a frame, and then they run away. Well, where's the cool stuff?
you want to learn self-offense, you don't want to learn self-defense.
Jeremy (39:17.286)
I think getting away is pretty cool, but you know, that's just me.
Rex Thompson (39:20.954)
Me too, because every fight I've won, boy did it hurt. it hurt. Son of a bitch it hurt.
Jeremy (39:28.014)
Nobody wins a fight, they just don't lose.
Rex Thompson (39:30.831)
The last fight, I honestly, the last fight I got into, I had been drinking. and a guy had stolen all my tools, and I knew I was never gonna get them back. He was a felon. I knew I could get away. Me, me and him could handle this in a fight. And I had been drinking, and I just remember he walked into the moose lodge and I was with Bob the plumber and
I looked at Bob. I set my whiskey drink down. I said, Bob, I gotta go take care of something. And I'm that dumb. I am just stupid. So I walked over and I said, Dave, you know what you did. You know you're a shit bag. And I know I'm never getting my money back. So we're gonna do this right now. And he just he wouldn't look at me and he just kind of smirked. So I punched him and I continued to punch him. And the next thing I remember was I was getting up off the floor and I had this little guy on my back, and I was so mad I didn't understand how.
He got on my back and I was still standing up. They broke it apart. He's got two black eyes and he's going, You don't want no more of this, Rexy. You don't want no more of this. I was like, I just beat you up. And I said, I'm gonna beat you up every time I see you. So I sit down at the bar and I said Bill Bob the plumber, I said, Bob, I said, I don't understand that fight. I said, I was beating that guy up. And I said, How did I end up on the ground? And he goes, You were doing really good, Rex. He goes, You were giving it right to him. That guy got everything he deserved.
He said his wife hit you with that bar stool four different times before you finally went down.
The next day my ankle was swollen. I had my head, I had bru I hurt so I he had to walk around with two black eyes. I bet I walked around with a month. I had a cast on my ankle, but I won the fight. Yeah. Boy, what a price to pay just to win a fight, right? And I got no money for it. There was no purse at the end, nothing.
Jeremy (41:09.35)
you
Jeremy (41:21.862)
Was it worth it?
Was it worth it?
Rex Thompson (41:28.247)
Yeah. He needed to learn a lesson. I I think we both got karma on that. We both had I I'm a huge believer in karma. and now I'm I it okay, I've changed my way of karma because I used to try to force karma on other people. I'd be like, you can just call me karma and I'll beat you up. That's how I justify it. Now I don't look for karma, I just have faith that it's gonna happen. I think if you
Ask for it, you're never gonna see it if it does happen. So I'm trying to change the way martial arts is around here through our mentorship program. I think that we need to go back to martial arts is more than just fighting. Martial arts should be a way of life, it should be how you act every
single day outside on the street, people should know that you're a black belt by the way that you act. If you're acting a fool, like look at me. I mean, I have a the dumbest shit s#!t that I said online. Just I That that kind of stuff embarrasses me that I was, you know, and now I've gotten that, but I guess we all have to go that our own path to figure ourselves out.
Jeremy (42:53.062)
And I think that that's an important thing. Obviously, we're not done with our conversation, but when we look through this arc of where you were and these steps that you're taking, the thing that I think to me is really obvious is stuff happened and it kind of built this momentum. And one day you went, this isn't what I want.
Rex Thompson (43:20.702)
Yeah, it was
Jeremy (43:20.952)
And it became fuel to create change. And now it's not just change for you. It's, it's your, you're doing what I think every martial arts instructor ultimately should end up doing, which is how do I take my story and try to make sure nobody else goes through that story.
Rex Thompson (43:40.041)
That's the you hit it. That's exactly 100%. That's my thoughts. That's my feelings. I relate so much to these kids. The seven kids that I started this program with come from some of the most traumatic backgrounds. Whether it was sexually molested, beaten, left, just left homeless at 14, 15 years old, left to survive in a homeless shelter in Florida with grown adults and stuff, having to fight.
off-grown adults and stuff. So what I do is I take those kids and they're all boys right now. I need a female instructor if I'm going to do this with females. I don't agree with males being one on one with females or anything like that. That causes perception. That causes issues. and it's already awkward. You need to have a female presence at all times when you have female students. You either need that or another instructor, something like that.
Jeremy (44:38.035)
especially if you're working with a population that's...
The numbers as I understand them, one in three. One in three. And so if you're working with a population that is maybe a little more at risk, now we're talking about an even higher, higher ratio and you're gonna start getting into things like, all right, lay on the ground. I'm gonna lay on top of you.
Rex Thompson (44:44.647)
Has been
Rex Thompson (44:48.953)
Yeah, I would believe it to be higher than that in Vermont.
Rex Thompson (45:08.049)
This is exactly what I'm going up to help Master Rota with. He has a lot of trouble doing ground fighting because he doesn't understand how to teach women. And I told him I would come up and I would help him with that. I have a lot of experience with that. Because there's so many awkward positions, stuff like that.
Jeremy (45:23.878)
Sure, sure. But no matter how good you get at it, you're still a guy.
Rex Thompson (45:30.661)
100%. 100%. And that's why I have a I do have Caitlin. And so when I practice a move and a female sees me do it, they go, Well, you're a 200-pound silverback gor gorilla. Of course it works. You're absolutely right. So that's why I have a female there. I want a female to be able to show you that she can get up off the ground. A female is not gonna fist fight me. I do not care if you are the
Baddest Olympic Judica Karate. I do not care. If you are 130 pounds and you want to fight me, I'm going to knock you out. As a female, 100%, you're you're most likely going to get knocked out.
You are it it's physics. You are trying to match upper body strength to upper body strength. Females are most strong in their lower hips. We cannot match strength with lower hips. So you have to use that as an advantage. Striking. So kicking. yeah. I've been kicked by some women that no, I did not want to get kicked again, but I could use my power to get through and get my hands on them to either hurt them. I mean, how many punches just.
People are under this assumption that once you get at a certain level, that doesn't matter your size, and you can you can hurt people. And so that's just not true. Physical attributes are still an attribute. Your size, your athleticism, you're 100%, 100%. so.
Jeremy (46:55.27)
We're still weak, glasses.
Rex Thompson (47:03.395)
Where was I going with the the the working with yes. I I give women a voice. I okay. So this comes from my own experience with my wife.
Jeremy (47:06.438)
We're talking about gender dynamics and working with the kids.
Rex Thompson (47:22.201)
How do men deal with conflict? Well, if we start losing an argument, what's the first thing we do?
We raise our voice. All right. when a woman doesn't get her way, she doesn't and and she's arguing with a man and the man raises his voice, she no longer has a voice. She doesn't have those physical attributes to fight view. So they shut up. They don't say a word. They so one of my biggest things is not teaching women, it's teaching men how to act around women.
Jeremy (47:34.704)
Usually.
Rex Thompson (48:00.247)
You have no clue how scared you can make a woman just by screaming at them. They have like even the smallest guy in the world has a delusion in his brain that if this argument gets gone, we'll just fist fight it out. Every guy, for some reason, has that. We all think it. Women don't think that. They are now, once you raise your voice, they become their whole nervous system, they become fight or flight. And so as men.
We have to recognize that. And I never recognized that in until I it happened to me in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Like I had a panic attack. Here's this guy. I couldn't get him off me. I was tired. I was like, and it clicked. Just one day, it clicked. I was like, my God. Us guys have been doing this to women for a long time. And I've never, I had never felt that so vulnerable in my life. And until that happens to you, you'll never understand how a female feels when you just raise your voice to them.
I grew up in a house where you didn't know what was going to happen when your father walked through the door. You walked on eggshells to figure out if he was in a good mood because we were little. We didn't want to get beat up by them. But that's women their entire lives. So we try Brazilian jujitsu gives them a voice. I re- I am a firm, firm believer that BJJ can give them a voice. They don't have to.
Just say yes. You know, I I I me and my wife go through a lot of therapy. We've been together for 30 years. I'm telling you right now, you will go through therapy if you stay married this long. You have to. You know, when we got we got talking, and I I don't want to get too much into her personal stuff, but as a as a female, there's just been so many times where she's been with men and it was, well, I had no choice. I just had to give up. I'm not saying I was raped, it's just.
I had to give up. I d I I was too scared of the alternative. That made me think as a man, I was Holy shit, have I done that to women in the past? It gives you a real Yeah.
Jeremy (50:07.175)
Here's one, this is kind of my personal crusade because I think it's such a great example and it's so mild. I will not step onto an elevator that has one person on it, one woman, without checking with her first. Hey, do you mind if I ride down with you? And most of the time it's, no, that's fine. Because the fact I'm asking the question,
Rex Thompson (50:26.145)
That's great.
Jeremy (50:36.066)
means I have some awareness and that can make them comfortable. But sometimes, even if they say, I don't mind, I can see it in their face. I'm like, I'll wait for the next one. And I especially do it when I'm with male friends. It's about the conversation. And quite often, these male friends are martial artists. They've never thought about this a moment in their lives. Just being on that elevator can be terrifying. Because where are they going to go?
Rex Thompson (50:50.016)
Yes.
Rex Thompson (50:58.984)
See, I come from a different
Rex Thompson (51:04.892)
Right. And where I come from, the the world of Brazilian jiu-jitsu, and I know you've probably seen it in karate, but the amount of grooming that goes on is fucking insane. The amount of gyms that I've seen coaches sleeping with their students is crazy to me. Just I I come from a military background, and I mean
Basic training 101. Number one, you don't put yourself in a in an office behind a closed door with a female by yourself. That's you just don't do it. You don't, there's certain things you don't do. And like I look at these guys that own studios and shit, and I was like, did anybody never tell you about boundaries? Like, do you not understand those boundaries? Like, you don't slap your female student's ass.
Or tell them how nice their ass is. There's inappropriate. Like it's a gym. Those people are paying you money for a service. This is not a place to find women to Google at.
Jeremy (52:14.463)
It comes from the power dynamic. There's a gap in power. When you're the instructor, and I've experienced this, and it is a trip, and the first time I remember experiencing it, I had a school in my early 20s, and there was this one particular student, and she made it very known that she was interested in me. And I remember it, because I had never even considered it, and...
it felt like she was offering herself up to me on a platter. man, was that, and you know, I don't, here I am at 47 and I don't mind admitting this now, almost. I almost said yes.
Rex Thompson (52:46.044)
Hundred percent.
Rex Thompson (53:00.816)
Yep. Cause it's flattering. The day I got my black belt, you should okay. I wish I had a cool story like you, but the day I got my black belt, it was a gay dude. Like out of the blue. And he was so aggressive about it because I I was polite. I was like, thank you for the belt. And then it went off to this weird conversation. I was like, whoa, hey, my man. I don't know if you checked my profile, but I do have a wife. I'm not. We're
Jeremy (53:02.828)
It's incredibly funny.
Rex Thompson (53:29.594)
It's just I I mean, I get it, whatever. I'm flattered. Thank you. But it is, I I see that a lot. And you'll see that especially. You'll see some instructors. They just get so enamored to have all of these people oogle about over them. And it's it's crazy watching that. And so that's one.
Jeremy (53:45.862)
they become a legend in their own four walls. And I get it because if martial arts is your life, if you're an instructor and you're teaching three, four, five, seven days a week, and you don't have a ton of time going elsewhere, let's face it, if you're a full-time martial arts instructor, you're probably not making a ton of money, so you don't have the money to go a bunch of other places.
Rex Thompson (53:49.54)
Yes.
Jeremy (54:10.803)
and you're around people that look up to you and they think highly of you, which let's face it, it feeds your ego and now you've got a small population and you have common interests and it is natural that it can happen. But I've seen so many schools and actually I've caught a lot of flack. You know what? You already opened the door. It's an explicit episode. I've caught a lot of shit over the years from people saying instructors shouldn't date their students.
Rex Thompson (54:14.905)
What does that feed your ego, doesn't it?
Rex Thompson (54:41.017)
Well it's you know that the Vermont laws have changed and that is illegal now, right?
Jeremy (54:45.519)
I did not.
Rex Thompson (54:46.711)
Yeah, so it's a very touchy subject for me right now.
They changed the grooming laws to include martial arts schools. And they are no longer, there's no statue of limitations anymore. So if you're a martial arts instructor, please instructors, because I know a few of you are going to be watching this and you know exactly who you are. The age of consent in the state of Vermont is 16 years old. When you are an instructor, a coach, a mentor.
Jeremy (54:56.774)
Good.
Jeremy (55:13.914)
which is absolutely wild. But before comments start flying, I want everyone to remember Rex and I didn't make that law. We just live here.
Rex Thompson (55:17.725)
Crazy. That's that's crazy. That that's crazy in itself. Okay. The age once you become a T yep.
Rex Thompson (55:28.972)
No. Nope. So I looked these laws up because I was very disturbed about a situation. The age of consent for a normal person out on the street is 16 years old, whatever. As long as you're not like five years, whatever it is, I don't know. When you become a mentor, coach, martial they added in martial arts gyms now, as of 2024. There is no statue of limitations. It it now raises the age of consent to 18. Then at 18, you can't touch them unless it
Unless you're less than four years older than them. If you had any sexual innuendos, text messages, took them anywhere when they were underage, and then you decided that at 22 years old it's okay to start sleeping with them. That's where the grooming laws kick in. And you will be it's a federal offense. So those people that sit back and go, she's 20 years old. What the hell does it matter anymore? Well, she's been in your gym since she was 14. That's what fucking matters. That's called grooming.
Jeremy (56:26.512)
That is grooming. That's what grooming is.
Rex Thompson (56:28.161)
That is 100% grooming. And they don't, they don't understand that. They're like, I and I, I, I just I draw a hard line when it comes to that. I have a daughter.
Rex Thompson (56:39.903)
So I that that's another thing that we talk about with resilient defense with these kids. We talk about the myth of the black belt. Do not become enamored because a guy has a black belt. Respect him because that black belt means he sat down in a class. He did the work. He put all the work in. That does not make him, that makes it, that's an acknowledgement of his hard work.
That does not make him have any power over you. That does not make him a legend. That doesn't make anything. So we we try to change that with the kids. So when they get out there, they're not like, my God, that guy's a black belt. Let me lay on my back, please. Just come take me. You're a black belt. Because you're 100%. I've seen so many girls come into gyms and they're like, I no, absolutely not.
I matter of fact, okay, I was teaching a kids' class and I got I got wind that there were one of the little girls, she was like 14, 15 years old and she had kind of a crush on me. I put an end to that quick. I don't let that stir, I don't let that fester. And I especially don't let them think they even have a chance. That it it needs to be it needs to be addressed quickly. And if you sit there as a coach,
And enjoy that ego and enjoy that little girl flirting with you, you're a scumbag. You're an absolute scumbag. I'm sorry. I don't that's a hard boundary for me. And I would never, I would never let my daughter in your gym. I wouldn't. No. That's so that's that's where I I I just I really felt like I never belong. Like I never knew what my purpose was. Here I was.
I thought my purpose was to to become a world champ in Brazilian Jiu J. Who the fuck is gonna be a world champ at fifty years old? I started, you know, nobody. I can go take the masters. Yeah, yeah, Julie. I mean, I can go to I could go to the masters and do all that stuff, but then those aren't the studs and the adult males and stuff like that. So
Jeremy (58:35.316)
I'm Julio, Julio.
Jeremy (58:42.916)
I'm gonna right there.
To those of you out there who are not familiar with Vermont, we have this bizarre amount of martial arts talent in our tiny little state of 630,000 people. I've traveled all around the country. Per capita, there's an insane amount of great martial arts. We're really good at making...
Rex Thompson (58:59.711)
Seventh degree black belts.
Rex Thompson (59:09.586)
Yes. The amount of grandmasters alone.
Jeremy (59:15.066)
We're great at making beer and martial artists and I don't know what else we really can do.
Rex Thompson (59:22.771)
Special forces soldiers. Special forces soldiers. We have the most amount per capita of special forces and special operations soldiers also.
Jeremy (59:29.609)
Interesting.
by episode 222, Julio Focca Fernandez, who, great, guy.
Rex Thompson (59:36.285)
Great guy. And he's a coral belt. Where like you have to pay thousands of dollars to learn from a coral bell. There's another coral belt. and Japanese jujitsu. Chris Ballard, right at United Fighting Arts Institute. He's another one. we have third-degree black belts, fourth degree, fifth degree. What belt is Freddie for karate? He's got to be at least a coral belt by now or a grandmaster. He's been doing it forever.
Jeremy (59:50.872)
mentioned Chris a couple of times.
Jeremy (01:00:01.232)
He is easier than Yasmin. Yasmin?
Rex Thompson (01:00:03.633)
And I I I love that he could just competed at our age. Fucking shout out for him. The last time that I tried to fight somebody, I was doing a new kickboxing match against professional fighter Mike Souza. And the Tuesday before I blew my bicep. I can't even keep my body through fight camp. So kudos to Freddie to be able to still represent at our age.
Jeremy (01:00:24.761)
Freddie was episode 13 and Chris Ballard was 416.
Rex Thompson (01:00:32.381)
That's awesome.
Jeremy (01:00:33.062)
This show was very local when it launched. It was a bunch of very local friends and then episode 14 changed everything when it was Bill Wallace. So, yeah.
Rex Thompson (01:00:42.953)
superfoot. I still need to get him in to do a I would love for him to commentate one of our shows. That would be great. Because now we do all of our shows in a five-rope ring. We don't do so we do K1
Jeremy (01:00:55.398)
Talk about what you're doing with Donnybrook. We've alluded to it as smidge, but we haven't really talked about it.
Rex Thompson (01:01:03.056)
So one of the things that we did is we changed, we moved out of Barrie City and we moved to Burlington. We're now at the Double Tree Inn. We moved out of a cage and we moved into a five-rope ring. So we have a 24-foot boxing ring and we do all of our kickboxing. Matter of fact, the main event and co-main event is K1 kickboxing. So it's a it's a K-1 kickboxing title fight. So we do a Muay Thai kickboxing, we do K1. Last fight we had a special rules.
Of J Kundu. We had two G Kundu guys fight each other. They came up with their own rule set and did a standing fight, Scott Kirby and Tommy Lovegood. And so they they it it was pretty cool to watch because they did hand traps, throws. So we've really been leaning a lot more towards traditional arts, getting them back in there.
Jeremy (01:01:57.67)
Is that a reflection of what happened in your personal life?
Rex Thompson (01:02:05.744)
I think yes and no. We're trying to feed what the fans want to see. The fans, unless you know, MMA, when you get two high-level Brazilian jujitsu guys going at it in MMA and you you don't know Brazilian jujitsu, you'll see everybody in the stands like go out, start getting beers, stuff like that. Yeah, exactly.
Jeremy (01:02:24.263)
Alright, bathroom break. It's really technical and it's hard to see and understand if you don't know that we're...
Rex Thompson (01:02:32.227)
Yeah, but to watch a s jump, spin, heel, hook, kick, you know, or something like that is crazy to watch in real life. So it does have to do with the fans, and it also has to do with getting the traditional back into martial arts, away from the UFC type meatheads. You know, I used to be the personal, I was a manager for Nico Price. And it's a different, different mindset.
Jeremy (01:02:37.776)
Yeah.
Rex Thompson (01:03:01.182)
It really, really is. Those fighters, I'll tell you what makes a good fighter. You and and it they're probably not going to be the best martial artist until they're older and they've gone through all their shit. But what makes a really good fighter is someone who's gone through a shit ton of trauma. They have been so abused that fighting and what they don't realize is that fight that they're fighting every single time is themselves.
So every one of those guys at the top tier, you get to see little glimpses of their troubled life, like Dustin Poirier. People don't get drunk and try to fight cops without a really traumatic background, stuff like that. I know I'm one of them. I try to fight them on the side of the street drunk. So those fighters, they make great, great fighters because they've already been beaten. They don't, they don't have they have the dog in them. So when you have somebody that's
Jeremy (01:04:00.166)
We're not afraid to leave.
Rex Thompson (01:04:02.15)
Yeah. So when you have somebody that's really like Leela Talopa grew up very well to do. He went to the best gyms. He was a Olympic level Judica guy. He had all of the best training. He was super, super rich. And then he met Justin Gagey, who just had a really traumatic life and he had that dog in him. You can't put that dog inside of those people.
Now, once they realize, like my best friend Ed, who's a professional fighter, he's been he's six foot four, he's 260 pounds, he's the most angry person you had ever met in your life. We both were at the same gym. Very toxic. It fed that. He was so, so angry. He has now, we work together, me and him, we talk every single morning at 7 30 in the morning and we talk about how we can be better people. What did we do in our life? Just
What can we do today to be better? What's bothering us? It's a I don't want to say a prayer session, but we're very spiritual. We talk about spiritual things, we talk about work things, but we talk. Now Ed has no will to fight. He's like, I don't, I don't want to take a fight. I don't I said, That's a good and bad thing, Ed. He's like, I hate it. I'm I'm just sitting around because I have no urge to fight. I said, That's you've you've healed yourself.
So you're no longer fighting with yourself. He doesn't have that purpose to fight. To watch him with those kids is incredible. He is such a great, great mentor with them kids. So I'm happy to have him there. And that's the difference between the fighters and a martial artist. A lot of martial artists don't want to be a fighter. They don't. And there's no words to it whatsoever. And but they have fun.
I don't want to go, I I don't want to go to the bar and roll around on the concrete anymore. I really don't. And it I've had people in my ear, I could then do it. Whatever you want to do. I matter of fact, you want me to tell you you're tougher than I am? Cool. You're tougher than I am. You win. How's that? It's it's that easy. It it really is. Words don't don't affect me because of my training.
Jeremy (01:06:18.951)
If someone here, here's how you here's how you stop somewhere around 50 % of fights. I'm going to share the secret. You already know this without maybe without realizing it with everybody out there. When someone says, you do more martial art. Do you think you can beat me up? You say no.
Rex Thompson (01:06:38.547)
Yeah. No, absolutely not.
Jeremy (01:06:39.716)
You don't justify it. You don't talk about circumstances. You don't talk about why you train. You say, no, I'm not that good.
Rex Thompson (01:06:48.617)
No. I kinda. I I tell no, I'm really good. Please stay away from me. Or I'll leave. I don't care. I have nothing to prove to you. Nothing.
Jeremy (01:06:50.67)
And they'll go, whoa.
Jeremy (01:06:59.204)
No, I have in the last probably 25 years, I've never told anyone I think I could beat them up.
Rex Thompson (01:07:05.948)
Yeah, I have bullies. I am so for some reason I used to be a bully to certain people. There was a I I got bullied as a kid. I got bullied by my father. I passed I yeah, I passed that on. We had a generational cycle of trauma, and I I had to break that with my own family. But I hate bullies. As soon as I see someone bully, especially online.
Jeremy (01:07:18.192)
That is the natural cycle.
Rex Thompson (01:07:36.561)
When I see someone and I s I I know they're just bullying a little or person that they can do. I instantly I am I'm on it. Like, hey bully. You want to stop in the gym? You want to sign a waiver? Do you want to do it out on the grass? What do you want to do? Stop telling people you're gonna do this, you're gonna do that. Because I really do fight. I know the reality of fighting. And I know you smoke 10 packs of cigarettes a day. You drink every night. Who are you beating up? You're trying to find some little girl or some little kid that you can beat up.
But the reality is you can't fight. And I'm telling you this online in front of everybody. I hate that. I I get triggered by that. And and so and and that's one thing I have to. I don't know. There's something in me to stick up for people. Right, wrong, indifferent, and I will stand on it. I don't care who hates me. I don't care how popular the person is. I don't care. I will stand on it. I don't. I have some certain boundaries and I
I can't get away from them. They're they're my own moral boundaries. So I've done a lot of fucked up shit. And I've, you know, people have told me they're they're like, you're talking shit about that guy right there, but I've heard really bad things about you. And you know what my answer is? Absolutely. I've earned every single one of those titles you've heard about me. So during that situation, I was that guy. During I've been told I was a really good guy. I've told I was a complete piece of shit. And I am both of those people.
At one point in my life, I I was that person. At this point in my life, I'm this person. I don't, I take accountability. That's the biggest thing that I've learned right now is taking accountability. Therapy's helped me with that. Martial arts has helped me with that. just just just taking accountability for yourself. Nobody does it. It's always someone else's fault why I acted shitty. Well, you you said this to me. So that gave me the right to be a piece of shit to you.
No. No. I'm sorry for the way I acted. I have to. And that's something we teach these kids. You have to take accountability. I can never control what you think about me. I can only control my own actions. So why do I want to get online and argue with you? I can't control you. You can't control me. I mean, you watched it. I watched so many of my friends like just drift away and I didn't know what was happening.
Rex Thompson (01:10:04.451)
why it was happening. So I I know now. And it's my own from my own like some things from my past will come up that I have to pay for. And and people are like, why you know why that happened? I was like, it's still a ripple that I it was a ripple effect from things that I did. I don't I expect it. I don't I no longer have good or bad. I just have things that happen to me to
For a reason. That's it. That's it. Why was I molested at fucking nine years old by a grown man? You know why? So that I had the ability to talk to a kid that had been molested in my fucking class openly with him to let him know that it wasn't his fault. That's it. So did that horrible thing happen to me? Yeah. Did I hate the fucking world over it? Yeah, I sure did. Now do I see why it happened to me? I do. So it's it's a complete.
change in my entire mindset on how I view everything.
Jeremy (01:11:10.074)
Rex, if people wanna see the stuff that you're doing, your school, Donnie Brook, they wanna get a hold of you personally, what are the websites, the socials, the emails, any of that stuff that we give people?
Rex Thompson (01:11:19.722)
Yeah, we are on Donnybrook Fight Promotions dot com. We're on there. September 5th, we have the fights up at the Double Tree Inn in Burlington. we have special commentator Liam McNeil. We have Deb Ballard from UFAI. We have Ronnie Patterson from Granite City MMA. the we have UFC refs.
Kevin McDonald will be there because we use ISKA, International Sport Karate Association. we're hoping to try to get some more traditional gyms in. But it once again, like I talk to Freddie all the I'm like, when are you gonna get some fighters? He's like, you know how it is. He's like, it's moms, it's kids. I do. Cause that's what it, like I said, the majority of the population don't wanna be fighters. They just wanna train.
So I I think that Brazilian jiu-jitsu and and I can remember arguing with you about this. I really hated this. I was like, And you and Andrew used to talk about like the UFC and the MMA and how that had gone away from traditional arts. And I never saw that. I was like, no, wait, wait a minute. You know, I'm coming up in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. That's it's about fighting. That's what it's about. It's about it's not. It's about how. So I agree with you 100%.
I think that MMA, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, gave people reasons to be bullies. it started a different kind of culture. And it wasn't one that I like. So
Jeremy (01:12:54.054)
And I want to be clear, even though the majority of schools that I have known that are solely BJJ or come from an MMA mentality, even though most of them seem to drop the formality, the customs that lead to the sorts of behavior and environment you're talking about, I don't think, I know, I certainly don't, I don't think you believe it is all. So some of you out there with MMA schools, BJJ schools, Muay Thai schools, and you're saying,
Wait, that's not us. We're not saying it's you. It is not. It is absolutely
Rex Thompson (01:13:24.884)
No, no, no, no, no, not at all. There's just as many toxic traditional gyms as there is Brazilian jujitsu gyms.
Jeremy (01:13:33.506)
It is absolutely possible to have a healthy culture within a BJJ or Muay Thai or MMA school. And you know how you know it? It's a great example.
Rex Thompson (01:13:40.138)
Hundred percent.
So UFAI. UFAI is one of them. I mean, they came up, Crew Ballard is a seventh-degree black belt in Taekwondo. Very, very has a lot of truth. Go into Deb Ballard's and try, you know, tying your belt while facing everybody. She will pull you out of the crowd and scream at you. So there, so there, I no, I am not saying every single fight, Jim, BJJ Jim, is that culture. It's not. It it it really isn't, but I
I see a real need to bring back that Bushido way, that that culture back of not only can you fight, but you can restrain yourself. You're not learning how to fight and be an animal. You're learning how to fight because you know you can fight. Now you know you can just walk away. I can walk away because I know for a fact.
I have fought with so many monsters. There's nothing you can do while you're puffing on that cigarette. I am gonna walk away. Don't get me wrong, getting punched by somebody, I don't care if they're a train fighter or not, it still fucking sucks to get punched by anybody. And when you're standing up, everybody has a puncher's chance. So for me, if it really comes down to a fight, obviously I want to get them to the ground where I have an have an advantage. I don't want to, I'm only five foot seven.
Most people are bigger than me. So I'm at a disadvantage when it comes to striking. I'm not at a disadvantage. I'm a black belt and Brazilian jujitsu. Nobody gets a lucky submission. Nobody just stands back up. An untrained fighter just stands up and gets themselves out of a submission. It just doesn't happen that way. But anybody could get a lucky punch on you. And that's where I try to avoid that. I don't, yeah. I don't wanna. I I'd I'd much rather spawn. And it's easier now.
Rex Thompson (01:15:35.866)
Not drinking. I lose all inhibitions when I'm drinking. And like most people can can attest. Like just watch after I drank a gallon of wine and got online. I'll beat you fucking ass. You know, that's the worst for me. That's so and I recognize it. And I I I got away from it. Had to. It affected too many relationships. Everything in my life, it affected my relationships. And so
That brings it back to the the whole culture. The when you do Brazilian jujitsu and you're in a toxic gym, you're gonna or any to I I I want to stop saying Brazilian jiu-jitsu. If you put yourself in any toxic gym and you don't want to follow the Bushido way, you don't want it to help you personally, you bring all that shit home. It affects every relationship in your life. Especially when somebody's feeding that ego fire.
You know, when you're drunk at night and you're like, TJ George just talked shit about me. I'm gonna go up to his house, nail him in there, and burn his house down. And you got a coach going, Yeah, yeah, when you wanna leave. That's toxic.
Jeremy (01:16:42.704)
That is beyond toxic. That's criminal. Don't do that. Don't do that.
Rex Thompson (01:16:46.127)
Yeah. Well yeah. But I was a y you know, that's just where I came from. That was my you know.
Jeremy (01:16:54.372)
Rex, how do we put a bow on this? What do you wanna leave the audience with today?
Rex Thompson (01:17:03.897)
You know what I really to parents. This goes out to parents, and this is so hard. I I don't think parents realize how much of an effect they have on their children with the smallest things.
When you don't know how to communicate with your children and you scream at them, that affects them for life. When you don't know how to communicate with your child and you have to use violence to discipline them, that affects them for their life. Kids are not inherently bad. You're just a bad parent. And I don't, I just see so many traumatized kids and myself, being a traumatized kid myself, I can tell parents.
you know, I really want to grow resilient defense. I want a free program for self-defense. I want a free kids program. I think that that is the most important. We take our kids when you when you have a child and your child's born, the very first thing you do when they get old enough is you bring them to a swimming lessons so that they don't drown.
The likelihood of them drowning in Vermont versus getting assaulted in Vermont is wildly different. Protect your children. The police are not going to protect your children. The teachers are not going to protect your children. They have to be able to protect themselves. Give them a voice. If you have a daughter, please put her into Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Let her. That is very, very important. Boys, boys, go wherever the hell you have fun.
Go somewhere and train where you have fun. I don't care what the art is. Go have fun where you're surrounded by people you relate with.
Rex Thompson (01:19:00.961)
That's I mean, if you want to be a be that guy, there's plenty of fight gyms around. There's plenty of them. And you'll and and the problem with those gyms is they live on an island. They don't nobody wants to go there. You don't like because of that culture. So they get stuck on that and they feed their own egos and tell each other how good they are. And but it's not fun. I travel. I go everywhere. KTA, I
I'm trying to book a trip. I was just down at Sig Sour. I'm trying to book a trip down to Sean Melanson's air jail guy. Everybody, I know everybody. So it's and I'd much rather be friends with everybody than live on an island. I don't like island life. I don't. I'm a social butterfly. So September 5th is our fights. If you that's how.
If you would like to help these kids, if you would like to find a way. So we got Fuji to donate $3,000 worth of gear to this cause. and we've been getting memberships. So what we did is we started a membership program, and you can pay $10 a month. and then you get private access to videos, see how the kids are progressing, storylines, thank yous, stuff like that.
You get all that and the ten dollars a month goes to I take the kids. When we go to six hour, I take them down there to meet those people. We take them to training. All the money go I don't I don't collect any money to teach these kids. Me and Ed volunteer to do all of the and it's more than teaching. It's usually an hour and a half of sparring followed by an hour of trauma talk, sitting down, stopping these kids from committing suicide.
Jeremy (01:20:49.926)
Hmm.
Rex Thompson (01:20:53.588)
You know, talking to them about their trauma. And hey, here's an adult that's been through everything that you've been through, and we went and asked for help. And it's okay to ask for help. So if you want to support those kids and help us, we're trying to get a permanent building in Williamstown. somebody offered us a piece of land. I would love to build a community, resilient defense. I'd love to see resilient defense in every single community, offering a free self-defense program, a free kids program.
But it has to be done a certain way. What's that? Resilient Defense Institute.org.
Jeremy (01:21:24.038)
What's the website for?
Jeremy (01:21:31.376)
Okay, and again, we'll have that stuff linked over at whistlekickmarshallargeradio.com for everyone that'll be in the show notes and all that. So yeah, this has been great. This has been great, Rex. Nice to catch up with you.
Rex Thompson (01:21:39.059)
Yeah.
Rex Thompson (01:21:44.35)
Yeah. Awesome, man. We need to train together. Maybe I'm gonna hit back up to Master Rhoda because I like to get up there and help him with some of the help him with the the the female groundwork, stuff like that. I'll bring a female with me and that'll help him. So I'd love to see you again, man. Get some training. I need to stretch my hips. My God, I can't even kick above the waist right now. I miss it.
Jeremy (01:22:02.502)
Thank you.
Jeremy (01:22:07.494)
You're welcome to class anytime.
Rex Thompson (01:22:12.644)
Awesome. I'd appreciate it, man. Thanks for having me, Jeremy. This has been a lot of fun.
Jeremy (01:22:16.358)
Thanks for doing this.